Allison Cooper

We do our best as parents, but there is no plan or prediction that can determine how your relationship with your children will be, grow, and change throughout the course of our lives. That is one of the most unpredictable things in parenthood.

Dear Oldest Son, Life these days is all about dividing and conquering. I feel more and more like I’m dividing and conquering so many things.

My fingers are currently grazing the keyboard as my arms reach around my four week old, who happens to be strapped to my chest in our BabyBjorn – which has been my saving grace these days. She’s sleeping soundly, but just moments ago she was wailing (I’m speculating that I have a colicky baby on my hands) and this is the only way that I can get my work done. No shower yet today (it’s 1 pm, gross), pretty much all I’ve eaten is a quick bowl of oatmeal (and of course coffee) and have been up for the day since 5am (plus countless feeding during the night). But I’m chugging forward. Yup, being a mom of a newborn makes me feel superhuman.

For so long, I’ve defined myself as nothing other than a mom, and I think that was beginning to be a toxic thing for me. I’m so much more than “just a mom,” even though that’s one of my favorite titles.

There used to be weekends where I would rise and have no plans for the day but to do whatever the heck I wanted. I relied on no one and no one relied on me. Yes, there are aspects of those days that I miss (especially the sleeping in), but being a mom has made me a better person and my life much more purposeful. Would I love a do-over of a weekend sans kids? Sure! But as far as my character goes, nothing can compare to the way being a mom has humbled me.

I've noticed an evolution within myself over the past year: I’ve been avoiding leaving my house at all costs.

Finding yourself doing extra loads of laundry because your toddler’s favorite T-shirt is dirty and you know there will be the mother of all meltdowns tomorrow if it’s not clean?

Let’s face it — as much as the holidays are merry and bright, they can be stressful, too. We have so much planning to do (and even more if you have kids), traveling to arrange, cleaning — and on top of all that there is the financial stress.

I can’t contain the thrill inside me to see where these beloved characters of mine ended up in life. There is definitely some binge watching of the original seasons in store for me so that I can make some educated predications.

I promise that 10 years from now, you won’t look back and find yourself saying “remember that amazing picture you posted of the Christmas cookies on Instagram? The one where the lighting was perfect and you had all the right red and green props in the background?” That won’t happen, ever.