Allison Cooper

I've noticed an evolution within myself over the past year: I’ve been avoiding leaving my house at all costs.

These are the things I anticipate most when my kids finally go the eff to sleep. I deserve it after a day of being in what feels like survival mode.

My husband left for the army and in many ways I've found myself. I had to be strong for my kids and strong for myself. I learned that I can do it.

There is nothing worse than feeling guilt in the evening whenever you think about what you consumed during the day — it’s such a sucky feeling. I try to blame it on how busy I am, since it’s not my fault that all the easy to reach for food are often the ones I shouldn’t be grabbing.

Clear the country bumpkin idea out of your head, because that’s not what I’m referring to here. A great plaid button down shirt can be just what you need to update your wardrobe this fall.

I think that before I actually became a mom, I dreamt of sick days to be filled with breakfasts in bed, handwritten notes with all the words spelled wrong, and misshapen pancakes — but the reality is far from that dream. I'm flustered just thinking about it.

Eventually, I accepted the need to just let things go (like keeping up with cleaning), and embrace all the chaos that new motherhood brings. So, here are some tips from people who know best, plus one that I think I learned the hard way.

I can't just embrace the chaos. I wish I could follow the advice: “Stop stressing, Allison, you work full time, stop comparing yourself to mothers who don’t." But I can’t help but to play that comparing game and label myself as the inadequate mom.

Dear Husband, You are putting up with an awful lot in being with me right now, and rightfully so — I’m growing a tiny human inside me. Our tiny human. You have been very patient and kind with me, but so far we are only 15 weeks along and I fear that we have an even longer road ahead of us.

[CN: mention of suicide] It’s not all real. We don’t live curated lives that are built around purposeful omissions of reality...