Allison Cooper

Parenthood is so chaotic that we find ourselves spewing words sometimes that we probably never, ever pictured ourselves saying. Then parenthood happened.

Faux freckles. Come on. You know that you have always wanted to strategically place a little freckle and mimic what Cindy Crawford has naturally.

I grew up dreaming of living in that house with the perfect blue shutters and the white picket fence, three perfectly interspaced children running

I can't just embrace the chaos. I wish I could follow the advice: “Stop stressing, Allison, you work full time, stop comparing yourself to mothers who don’t." But I can’t help but to play that comparing game and label myself as the inadequate mom.

Yes, I said it. I’ll sing it from the rooftops and admit the one thing that many moms might feel ashamed to say out loud: I live for nap time.

"The whining is getting annoying. Yes, I said it and you read correctly. It’s annoying to hear you repeat the same thing over and over about yourself, whining about how you need to change your eating habits, work out more, and hire a new trainer. Calm yourself and move forward with your life . . ."

Who is wearing heels or even wedge booties to the bus stop in the morning? Not I! And not to mention that a heel is typically way to dressy for anything I plan to wear to the bus stop. Hit up your local Target with $50 to spend and you will return home with 2-3 pairs of simple flats that you can mix and match for comfort in the morning and a little pop of color.

In case someone comes out of the woodwork and goes extra hard with the mom-shaming for choosing to bottle feed, here are some really important reasons not to feel ashamed.

I’m well aware that this should probably be the last thing on my mind as we get ready to deliver Baby Number Two in a few months, but it’s there. Yes, it’s mixed up in my brain with thoughts of getting the right crib and making sure that our organic crib mattress gets delivered on time, but it is a dominant thought, something that I’m legitimately worried about.

My fingers are currently grazing the keyboard as my arms reach around my four week old, who happens to be strapped to my chest in our BabyBjorn – which has been my saving grace these days. She’s sleeping soundly, but just moments ago she was wailing (I’m speculating that I have a colicky baby on my hands) and this is the only way that I can get my work done. No shower yet today (it’s 1 pm, gross), pretty much all I’ve eaten is a quick bowl of oatmeal (and of course coffee) and have been up for the day since 5am (plus countless feeding during the night). But I’m chugging forward. Yup, being a mom of a newborn makes me feel superhuman.