Gigi Engle

Attention everyone: DIY sex toys are NOT a good idea. Here’s why.

Breakups are emotionally charged experiences that leave us hollow and pretty messed up. It’s not to say we won’t come back better and stronger — we always do! But, we do some thoroughly toxic nonsense before we get to that place.

Finding love actually doesn’t begin when you find the right person. It begins when you love yourself. Being single may be scary and all, but it’s going to help you find “the one” faster than jumping from person to person. If you don’t know how to stand on your own, how can you expect to know what a partnership looks like?

Screw manicures and blowouts: masturbation is the ultimate act of self-care. It’s good for your health, and you should be doing it all the time.

Some ideas seem like a good time in the moment, but when it comes to sexual health, Rule Number One: If it's not made for the vagina, it's gotta stay out.

Certain qualities and personality traits are solid indicators of whether or not you can hack an LDR.

Vaginal orgasms are real. But if you want to climax quick? Someone needs to be stimulating the clit with something — usually fingers or a vibrator. Yes, it may mean a little extra work. But a dedicated dude will make it happen.

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

The vagina is as magical and beautiful as a unicorn gallivanting through a sea of daisies on a warm spring day. Therefore, the vagina should be treated as a magical and beautiful creature: with care love and endless devotion.

You don’t even have to be a good person to be incredible at sex, apparently (my ex proves this).