Gigi Engle

Sex is amazing, but let’s address the giant pink, dildo in the room: while sex IS super fun, sex is also exhausting. It’s an entire workout in itself.

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

Every strong woman needs a playlist to play while having sex. She needs a compilation of her empowering badassery to put her in the mood and keep her there.

Men will say they want a smart woman, of course, but the moment they are faced with one; the moment a woman challenges him, or god forbid, proves him wrong, she becomes “hard to deal with,” “too intense” or “crazy.”

By saying all people who identify as women want less sex and men want more, you’re grossly generalizing two large groups in a way that is both scientifically inaccurate and ultimately lidded under unreasonable social pressure.

Attention everyone: DIY sex toys are NOT a good idea. Here’s why.

There is no position I despise quite like reverse cowgirl.

Having sex in public is exhilarating. But while the risk of being caught is compelling to many of us, getting busted will earn you a fat misdemeanor charge with up to three years in prison. The authorities are not screwing around on this — so keep this in mind before you release your inner exhibitionist and live life in your free-spirited way.

If someone wants to be with you they should be obsessed with you. This person should not be telling you not to tag them in photos (so people can't see you're together), not texting you for days on end (and not caring if it upsets you), always making you come to his or her neighborhood because he or she doesn’t want to travel. A person who does this is NOT worth your time.