Gigi Engle

Women kind of get a shit deal when it comes to

Vaginal orgasms are real. But if you want to climax quick? Someone needs to be stimulating the clit with something — usually fingers or a vibrator. Yes, it may mean a little extra work. But a dedicated dude will make it happen.

Let’s be real, friends. All sex positions are not created equal. Sex is amazing and fun, but there are certain sexual situations and moves that are better than others.

Attention everyone: DIY sex toys are NOT a good idea. Here’s why.

There is no shame in being guarded. There is nothing wrong with it. You do not have to work tirelessly in therapy to break down your natural inclination towards self-preservation in order to find a romantic partner.

Blowjobs are good, wholesome, and very sexy fun. While they are enjoyable, I think we all know they don’t call it “job” without reason. It is a J-O-B.

I have accumulated plenty of sex tips for fellow uncoordinated people. Embrace your quirks so everyone can get off! Here are seven of my absolute favorite, tried and true ways to keep sex fun and simple.

Forget a hot bod! I just want someone who knows himself.

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

You don’t even have to be a good person to be incredible at sex, apparently (my ex proves this).