Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

Columbus Never Found America And 4 Other Awkward Facts About Columbus Day

We're giving you some of that judgmental side eye right back, Chris.

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My Complicated Reaction to Serena Williams’ Sports Illustrated Cover

I wish that we inhabited the world Williams’ image depicts, where women can wear bodysuits and high heels and be considered powerful. But if I ventured into the comments I know what I would find: men saying they want to fuck her, women telling her to put some clothes on, and at least one thinly-veiled rape threat. She wants to be fucked, they will say, with her legs open and waiting. Her power and poise will become an invitation to overpower her.

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Don't be fooled. She's actually pushing that child onto the bus.

25 Signs That You're Beyond Ready To Send Your Kids Back To School

"I don't know what I was smoking in June, but it's August now. I've bonded with my kids until we can't bond anymore, and I'm thisclose to booking a one-way ticket to anywhere but here. I love my kids dearly, but I appreciate them even more when I have time to myself, too. I think that's called balance, and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."

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Kentucky Clerk Sent to Jail For Defying Order to Issue Same-Sex Marriage Licenses

To further emphasize what can only be described as a batshitcrazy level of hypocrisy, a petition has been started on change.org to ensure that Davis receives the Biblical treatment for her own "misdeeds" –– stoning. While I wouldn't go quite that far, the point is taken. Multiple other petitions have also been started to remove her from office.

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#BrusselsLockdown Hashtag Taken Over By Lolcats

When Belgian police asked for a social media blackout of their anti-terrorist operations over the weekend, they got what they wanted in the most Internet way possible –– the hashtag #BrusselsLockdown was quickly taken over by cat pictures.

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37 Things I've Learned In My 37 Years

"23. Coffee is full of antioxidants and is therefore a healthy and necessary part of each day."

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The author meets Macklemore.

What Macklemore's Relapse Reminded Me About Loving An Addict

What I do know is what it is like to be the wife of an addict, and those years taught me to claim responsibility for addictions that aren't my own. Thankfully, while that is still my first instinct, I have come far enough now to pause and remind myself that I am no one's caretaker. I am not responsible for my ex-husband's addiction, and I am certainly not responsible for Macklemore's.

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Twitter Turns Oregon Militia Into Brokeback Mountain Inspired Erotica

If imagining the Oregon militia huddled together for warmth now that the Feds have cut off their power fills you with Brokeback Mountain inspired nostalgia, you aren't alone.

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