Jody Allard

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton was

Okay, I know that's not very Christian of me. Luckily, I'm an atheist. But, really, if we are being honest, who doesn't want to punch Kim Davis in the face by now?

"However, if you've ever met a teenager, you know that roughly 75% of them will never willingly walk into the school nurse's office and ask about birth control. But, even if they do, they still won't necessarily know which form is best for them, and they certainly won't be given the advice they need to dump that player and move on already. That's where us parents come in. Except, of course, that half of our kids won't talk to us about the ins and outs of sex and relationships."

It took five years for my daughter to be diagnosed with autism. There were dozens of red flags, beginning from the time she was about 10 months old, but her pediatrician always told me that she was fine. "She made eye contact with me," she reassured me. "She can't be on the spectrum." Besides, most children with autism, she reminded me, are boys.

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

Amber Scorah's son Karl was three months old when she dropped him off at his first day of daycare. When she returned two and a half hours later to breastfeed him on her lunch break, he was dead.

After sorting through all of the reasons why people claim that dress codes are needed, I can't find a single one that holds any weight or that isn't founded in strangely Victorian ideals about girl's bodies.

In case you need still more proof that feminism is desperately and unequivocally needed, here are three completely horrible stories from this week alone.

"Ultimately, it doesn't matter much whether Bland killed herself or was murdered. In both cases, she died because she was hauled into custody for a minor offense that didn't really even merit being pulled over to begin with. Maybe her head injury led to uncharacteristic behavior, or maybe the traumatic arrest triggered a severe PTSD episode, or maybe someone flat out killed her. But, in every case, she died because she was in that police cell."

It's time to gather around the table with the family members you see only once or twice a year (for good reason) and try to avoid stabbing each other with your forks. #Blessed.