Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

The New Holderness Family's Thanksgiving Video Doesn't Suck

If you don't know who the Holderness family is and have somehow managed to miss their series of painfully awkward viral videos, congratulations! You haven't missed much.

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I Was Born Without A Hand And Don't Want A 3D Prosthetic

I was born without fingers on my right hand. No one knows why, even now, 36 years later. It just happened, as these things sometimes do.

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"I'm Especially Proud When You're At Your Worst": A Letter To My Teenage Daughter

You're 15 years old now. You're not a little girl anymore—even though you wish you were, just a little bit.

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The author meets Macklemore.

What Macklemore's Relapse Reminded Me About Loving An Addict

What I do know is what it is like to be the wife of an addict, and those years taught me to claim responsibility for addictions that aren't my own. Thankfully, while that is still my first instinct, I have come far enough now to pause and remind myself that I am no one's caretaker. I am not responsible for my ex-husband's addiction, and I am certainly not responsible for Macklemore's.

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Obama Is Finally Taking Away Your Guns (Thank God!)

Obama outlined his new gun control plan this morning and all I have to say is thanks, Obama. It's about goddamn time.

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Oregon Militia Is Not Amused By Dildos Arriving In The Mail

Once upon a time, a band of heavily-armed men decided to take over an Oregon federal building. Because they were white, the Feds didn't shoot them in 12 seconds, and nobody even really did anything about it. (Possibly also because these intrepid defenders of our Constitution decided to seize a bird sanctuary.)

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credit: Ashley Anderson

Please Do Not Dub Sandra Bland A Crazy Black Woman

"Ultimately, it doesn't matter much whether Bland killed herself or was murdered. In both cases, she died because she was hauled into custody for a minor offense that didn't really even merit being pulled over to begin with. Maybe her head injury led to uncharacteristic behavior, or maybe the traumatic arrest triggered a severe PTSD episode, or maybe someone flat out killed her. But, in every case, she died because she was in that police cell."

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Donald Trump Wants To Ban Muslims, Amazon CEO Has Better Idea

ICYMI, everyone's favorite drunk uncle Donald Trump announced that he's in favor of banning all Muslims from the United States –– including American citizens who leave the country for terrorist-loving activities like going on vacation.

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Mormon Church Rejects Children Of Same-Sex Couples, Equates Homosexuality With Murder

The children of same-sex couples cannot participate in Mormon church activities until they reach adulthood and renounce same-sex marriage, accordin

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