Jody Allard

Only highly educated white people seemed willing to consider the idea that their children might learn best without any instruction at all.

The more I told him that something hurt me, the more that he did it.

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

My only regret is that I wasted nearly 40 years trying to bend my chronically ill body to an imaginary idea of perfection.

"I don't know what I was smoking in June, but it's August now. I've bonded with my kids until we can't bond anymore, and I'm thisclose to booking a one-way ticket to anywhere but here. I love my kids dearly, but I appreciate them even more when I have time to myself, too. I think that's called balance, and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."

“I may not be your dream candidate just yet, but I can assure you I am Hillary Clinton's worst nightmare. And in your heart of hearts, you cannot wait to see a debate between Hillary Clinton and Carly Fiorina,” she said. “I will tell you this, I will beat Hillary Clinton."

Photo Credit: Elizabeth Boyce

The wage gap is complicated, right?

". . . it is illegal to sell fetal tissue, but it is perfectly legal to receive compensation for the time and expense involved in collecting, preparing, storing, and transporting tissue for research purposes. This is well-established in the rules and regulations surrounding organ and tissue donation. Similar regulations also make it illegal to sell children, but legal to compensate parents for medical care and expenses incurred during an adoption."

You're 15 years old now. You're not a little girl anymore—even though you wish you were, just a little bit.