Jody Allard

"However, if you've ever met a teenager, you know that roughly 75% of them will never willingly walk into the school nurse's office and ask about birth control. But, even if they do, they still won't necessarily know which form is best for them, and they certainly won't be given the advice they need to dump that player and move on already. That's where us parents come in. Except, of course, that half of our kids won't talk to us about the ins and outs of sex and relationships."

ICYMI, half of my home state of Washington, as well as our neighboring state of Idaho, has been or is currently on fire.

In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

It took five years for my daughter to be diagnosed with autism. There were dozens of red flags, beginning from the time she was about 10 months old, but her pediatrician always told me that she was fine. "She made eye contact with me," she reassured me. "She can't be on the spectrum." Besides, most children with autism, she reminded me, are boys.

"It's simple, really. If you can muddy the waters enough, and espouse concern for the rights of those poor defenseless embryos enough, what should be a simple statement about the rights of women to make choices for their own bodies becomes, instead, a convoluted argument around viability and fetal stages that puts the presumed "rights" of fetuses on an equal footing with the actual rights of adult women."

My favorite part about summer is the ability, for three short months, to stop looking at the clock or calendar and to start enjoying the present.

Singer Ciara performed the national anthem before last night's college football national championship game, but it's not her vocal prowess making headlines today –– it's her boobs

If you don't know who the Holderness family is and have somehow managed to miss their series of painfully awkward viral videos, congratulations! You haven't missed much.

". . . it is illegal to sell fetal tissue, but it is perfectly legal to receive compensation for the time and expense involved in collecting, preparing, storing, and transporting tissue for research purposes. This is well-established in the rules and regulations surrounding organ and tissue donation. Similar regulations also make it illegal to sell children, but legal to compensate parents for medical care and expenses incurred during an adoption."

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.