Kathleen Pooler

Kathleen Pooler

Kathleen Pooler

Bio

Kathleen Pooler is a retired family nurse practitioner and author of the memoir Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, published on July 28, 2014, and sequel, Just the Way He Walked: A Mother’s Story of Healing and Hope. She writes about how she tapped into her faith in God during her biggest obstacles and disappointments to transform and
heal from life’s greatest challenges. She believes that every little bit of hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when sharing our stories. She lives with her husband Wayne in eastern New York and blogs weekly at Memoir Writer’s Journey at krpooler.com.

 

Kathleen Pooler Articles

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

On Enabling: I Was Addicted To My Son's Addiction

There’s a big difference between helping your child and enabling their behaviors. When I discovered my son had an alcohol addiction, I was a single parent of two teenaged children.

The first time I saw my son Brian drunk, he was 14 years old. 

We had just moved from Missouri to New York State after my second divorce. I felt ill-equipped to deal with the painful reality that my son was repeating the cycle of his father, whom I had left due to his alcohol addiction.

When I ask myself how I became an enabler to his addiction, I reflect on my background. I grew up the oldest child in a family of four children. As the eldest, I was called on to be the caretaker of my younger siblings. The caretaking role felt comfortable and validating. When I left home at 18, I chose to pursue a career in nursing, further reinforcing my role as a caretaker.

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