Rebekah Kuschmider

Zika virus is not going anywhere.

Do you want a man known for calling people “losers” to be sitting at a table with all the major economic powers in the world and trying to work out international trade deals or arms agreements? Or do you think he’d offend everyone in the room so much that he’d turn us into a global pariah?

This means that if you are sexually assaulted in California after this law takes effect in January 2017, you have all the time you need to gather your strength to press charges.

This week in “You Need A Law For that?” news, the great state of New York has passed legislation officially recognizing hot pink as a designated color for hunting gear.

Kesha hit another roadblock in her campaign to be free from her producer/abuser/rapist this week. I’m sorry — alleged abuser and rapist. No one seems to be willing to convict Dr. Luke of the allegations of rape and abuse leveled against him by the singer.

I’ve gotta say, mind-magic like this would be an exciting addition to the scope of presidential powers.

Is Hillary Clinton going to jail for having email? The world — and last night’s debate moderators — want to know!

The short answer is: probably not.

Unless one of her emails contains a confession for actually killing Vince Foster. Which seems unlikely, since Hillary has a law degree from Yale and I think the first thing they teach you there is, “Don’t write incriminating shit down.”

According to reports today, O’Reilly has reached his lifetime limit on harassing women at FoxNews and will lose his cable show in the process.

You could probably look on the internet and find people whining about the changes, but I’m in too good a mood about seeing women and minorities on my money to go looking for bigots and their rainy damn parades.

Apparently, the trend of very sheer tops that allow the nipple to make its presence known is the inspiration for this new twist on cosmetic surgery. Celebs have been photographed with nips in evidence, and people are bringing the photos to doctors' offices to say: “Give me these nipples, pretty please.”