Rebekah Kuschmider

Does the Senate health care bill suck? Yes. But because I hate to wallow in bad news, here’s something in the world of health and bodies that is a positive development: teens are more apt to use contraception now than in the past.

There is literally zero precedent for foreign influence on elections in the US — at least to this degree — and no one seems to know what to do with the information.

No mention is made of what happens should a teen be estranged from one parent, should a teen be in a single-parent family, if there are geographic distances between a teen and a parent, and did I mention that abortions are nobody’s beeswax? Yeah.

OK, folks, it’s possible that Trump has finally crossed the line.

It was only a matter of time before virtual reality brought us the sex toy of the future. That time, apparently, is now.

Remember a couple of weeks ago when we got all excited to find out that the

You might know that they call six-toed cats Hemmingways. But what do they call four-eared cats? Well, in the case of one such kitty in Pennsylvania, they call him… Batman.

What could taste better than a sleeve of Thin Mints pulled from the freezer for a mouthful of cool, minty goodness? How about a tray of Thin-Mints-flavored brownies pulled from the oven for a mouthful of gooey, warm, minty goodness?

So far, he’s raised $43,000 to produce his gizmo, which looks like a cross between a pacifier and foot massaging insole. You hold the end of it in your mouth and use the “tongue” to… well… lick your cat.

Follow these tips and you will look well-rested, you will not have camel toe, your underwire won’t poke you in the armpit, your hair will smell nice, your knuckles might not crack in the cold weather, and you will have enough money leftover for icing and sprinkles for the next absurd elementary school party. Huzzah!