Rebekah Kuschmider

Brace yourselves, folks. I may be about to present you with the best news of 2016: ice cream for breakfast can make you smarter!

Not a Muslim ban, but some non-Muslims will get to the top of the list faster? Uh-huh. Make of that what you will, folks, but it sure sounds like an unconstitutional religious test to me.

The man who launched 1,000 memes will be leaving government after 43 years of service, first as a Senator from Delaware, then as Obama’s right hand man.

The Congressional baseball game has been happening for over 100 years. It is a highlight of summer among Beltway folks. And during this morning's practice, some fuckwit opened fire. And he shot people who could have been my husband, or any of his bosses, or any of his coworkers, or any of our myriad friends on the Hill. And I am shattered.

A guy named Dave Johnson swears up and down that the Ramsey family staged the whole thing and then went on to live new lives as the Perry family. He cites Katy Perry’s eyebrows as proof. "You know, the eyebrows don't change much on a person," he claims. "You're born with your eyebrows.”

This isn’t your old-school, gas-station-bathroom condom dispenser, either. It's called a Wellness To Go station that sells condoms, Plan B Emergency Contraception, pregnancy tests, tampons and pads, and even over-the-counter painkillers like Advil and Tylenol.

The phenomenon of people distributing sexual images of videos of others without their consent is horrifying and life-destroying for victims, who often have no legal recourse.

The good news is that we seem to be gaining adult supervision in the White House for the moment. And in Congress. And also at the FBI.

Ok, Lemonade Nation (LemoNation?). I’m stuck on Becky With the Good Hair. I can’t stop reading theories about who it might be. Is it Rachel Roy? It’s not Rachael Ray. Maybe it’s Rita Ora? It can’t be Iggy Azalea, though this piece called her Darth Becky and it’s so good. Is it Rihanna? WHO IS BECKY?

See, sex requires everyone in the room be on board for whatever is happening. Some people like to think that they’re so in tune with their partner that they know what they can do and what they can’t do, but that’s a dangerous supposition. At any moment during a sexual encounter, something can change. Consent can be withdrawn.