Rebekah Kuschmider

Guys. GUYS!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that there is no such thing as a perfect bra. More annoying is the equally-universally acknowledged truth that good bras are never cheap, and cheap bras are seldom any good.

Hey, guys! Remember a few months ago when I predicted that Hillary Clinton’s email troubles wouldn’t land her in prison? Well, I was totally right!

According to the Daily Mail, that’s the lesson animal experts at the Berlin Zoo have learned from Stan and Ollie, two king penguins who were supposed to be part of the zoo’s penguin breeding program. Instead of mating with female penguins and perpetuating their species as zoo officials hoped they would do, Stan and Ollie pair-bonded with one another.

If you happen to be on the University of Texas, Austin campus on Wednesday, August 24th, be prepared to rock out with your cock out. Well, your dildo out.

So we have a new Justice on the Supreme Court.

Ah, the oh-so-common slippery slope idea. If same sex marriages are to be legal, why not other kinds of marriages? Why not polygamy or polyandry or marriage to animals or that lady who married a roller coaster?

If the point they’re trying to make is that creepers are gonna creep, well, I hope they get a look in the mirror while they’re in there.

Breaking! Breaking! Ben & Jerry’s is introducing a line of non-dairy frozen desserts!