Rebekah Kuschmider

The race itself was anti-climactic because it wasn’t a race. It was basically two heats of a race. First, scientists convinced a wild great white to chase a hunk of fake seal meat for 100 meters so they could time it. Then Phelps donned a specially designed shark suit and swam the exact same route.

Modern technology is creating a work-around for the hassle of getting birth control — and putting it right on your phone.

First Daughter and fashion mogul Ivanka Trump’s company announced this week that it will be discontinuing her eponymous line of fine jewelry.

(Sidebar: anyone who puts baby cats in a bag and tosses them in the trash does not deserve to keep breathing the same air as normal kitty-loving people.)

I am not sure the human race is really good enough to deserve dogs.

Breaking! Breaking! Ben & Jerry’s is introducing a line of non-dairy frozen desserts!

The next few months are going to feel like drinking from a firehose of bad political news. Just today, my email is pinging away with alerts about all the executive orders that Trump seems to have signed expressly to make me, Rebekah Kuschmider, lose my mind. I keep feeling jolts of adrenaline, and I reach for my phone to email or call or Tweet or SOMETHING to release my endless rage.

Can you name a WNBA team in your state? Do you know the name of a top woman golfer? Did you know it took Venus Williams digging her heels in to get equal prize money for men and women at Wimbledon and that didn’t happen until 2007. Venus Williams! Getting paid less than a dude! VENUS WILLIAMS!

The majority of people in extreme poverty (living on less than a $1.90 a day) throughout the world are women and girls. Despite this, the United Nations found that less than 2 cents of every aid dollar is spent on an adolescent girls.

So, who is more actively feminist this week? Ivanka, who can’t articulate a White House policy for bettering the lives of women? Or Beyoncé, who is shelling out big bucks to better the lives of women?