Rebekah Kuschmider

No mention is made of what happens should a teen be estranged from one parent, should a teen be in a single-parent family, if there are geographic distances between a teen and a parent, and did I mention that abortions are nobody’s beeswax? Yeah.

A guy named Dave Johnson swears up and down that the Ramsey family staged the whole thing and then went on to live new lives as the Perry family. He cites Katy Perry’s eyebrows as proof. "You know, the eyebrows don't change much on a person," he claims. "You're born with your eyebrows.”

ERMERGERD! ERLEXANDER HERMILTON!

If the preparations for the athletes are any indication, the Olympic Village may be one sexy spot!

Apparently, there is a type of wasp that deposits its larvae inside oak trees, where they grow inside the wood, nourished on oak bark and wasp poop. You can collect these wasp incubators — called oak galls — and do stuff with them. The Etsy seller says they’re good for all kinds of “traditional” medicinal uses like tightening the vagina and uterus after childbirth. THIS IS A BAD IDEA!

Musician Kid Rock has announced that he intends to run for the Senate as a Republican in Michigan. Athlete and reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner has teased about a run as a Republican in California. Neither would-be candidate has filed the official candidacy paperwork as of this time. I hope they don’t. At least not until they learn something about governance.

If you tune in to the Democratic National Convention today, you’ll see history being made. No, not the nomination of the first female candidate for a major party. You’ll see the first appearance of an out transgender person at a major party convention.

One escort interviewed said she was changing $620 PER HOUR for the “girlfriend experience,” which includes taking her to films and walking the red carpet at events. She has a strict 4- and 5-star hotel policy. No yacht parties though, for safety reasons.

If the first line of your personal dating profile reads: “Must love combovers, bankruptcy court, and misogyny,” have I got good news for you! There is now a special dating site just for singles who support Donald Trump.

Ever feel sick of it all? Want to run away from home?