Rebekah Kuschmider

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

Yesterday, the Republican National Convention kicked off in Cleveland, Ohio. One of my friends predicted it would be a spectacle of epic proportions, involving pyrotechnics, all-female military drills teams reminiscent of Ghadaffi’s personal guard, and jungle cats.

If you owe the feds a tax payment and don’t want to pay by check or e-transfer, you can make a cash payment in person at 7-11 stores. This is incredibly helpful for people who don’t have bank accounts or credit cards — or people who need to get taxes paid locally, at a spot near public transportation.

Not a Muslim ban, but some non-Muslims will get to the top of the list faster? Uh-huh. Make of that what you will, folks, but it sure sounds like an unconstitutional religious test to me.

Who doesn’t dream of retiring from their day job and relocating to the Caribbean? Well, soon the dolphins at the National Aquarium in Baltimore will get to do just that.

ERMERGERD! ERLEXANDER HERMILTON!

Yeah. That’s the higher education issue that’s of most concern to the citizens of the United States: race conscious admissions policies. Investigating ways to give white people more chances to sue colleges that make a point of admitting people of color doesn't sound racist at all...

The Trump administration wants to broaden the Essential Health Benefits exemptions even further. According to documents that Vox got a hold of, the new regulations would let any employer with a moral or religious objection to covering birth control apply for one. They could cite any reason for their objections.

This means that if you are sexually assaulted in California after this law takes effect in January 2017, you have all the time you need to gather your strength to press charges.

President Obama plans to visit a mosque in Baltimore, MD. He’s going there to speak about the problems associated with global anti-Islamic bigotry and to promote religious tolerance. He delivered a similar message about anti-Semitism at the Israeli embassy last week.