Virgie Tovar

Virgie Tovar

Bio

Virgie Tovar, MA is an author, activist and one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the editor of Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, November 2012) and the mind behind #LoseHateNotWeight. She holds a Master's degree in Human Sexuality with a focus on the intersections of body size, race and gender. After teaching "Female Sexuality" at the University of California at Berkeley, where she completed a Bachelor's degree in Political Science in 2005, she went onto host "The Virgie Show" (CBS Radio) in San Francisco. She is certified as a sex educator and was voted Best Sex Writer by the Bay Area Guardian in 2008 for her first book. Virgie has been featured by the New York Times, MTV, Al Jazeera, the San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, Huffington Post, Bust Magazine, Jezebel, 7x7 Magazine, XOJane, and SF Weekly as well as on Women’s Entertainment Television and The Ricki Lake Show. Her most recent speaking engagements have included University of Washington, Earlham College, Hollins University, University of California at Berkeley, University of California at Davis, California College of the Arts, Sonoma State University, and Humboldt State University. She lives in San Francisco and offers workshops and lectures nationwide. Find her online at www.virgietovar.com. And on instagram. 

Virgie Tovar Articles

@virgietovar on Instagram

Take The Cake: Body Hating Mornings? Add This One Thing To Your Bedroom

I got tired of waking up and being terrified for my health and so I decided to do what I’d been taught to do in moments of distress: craft.

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Something like 80 percent of men expect their partner to be thin; tell me that isn’t an “excessive and irrational commitment.”

Take The Cake: Thin Fetishism Is More Common Than Fat Fetishism

The other night, I was eating capellini with asparagus and shrimp with a new friend/Babecamp Jamaica alum.

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Image: Virgie Tovar

Fat Girls Deserve Intimacy, Too

I’m a fat brown girl from an immigrant family. I grew up learning that no one would ever love me because I’m fat. I was taught that I have to work twice as hard to get half as much. If someone looks at me weird or says something rude to me, I always see it or hear it and I have a massive (exhausting) anxiety/adrenaline rush/aggro response/comedown cycle. I feel like I have to fight to maintain dignity and humanity every, single day.

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My vision for my life is very different from the one the culture has for me

Take The Cake: A Fat Girl’s Guide To Intelligently Divesting From Patriarchy

You were taught not to invest in yourself. You were taught to invest in the culture, which is bolstered by patriarchy, racism, etc..

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My parents wanted our family to be in high-threat mode because it kept us closer.

Take The Cake: Breaking Up With My Family, Part 1

More than lip service to an unlikely situation, I needed accountability from my family. Small things that required less bravado, but more work. Just before Christmas, I experienced the moment that made our breakup crystallize.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: 3 Common Fatphobic Derailments

Recently there’s been an uptick in fatphobic derailments, and I thought it would be helpful to share them as well my responses to them.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: Cleaning My Closet Taught Me 3 Things About Fat Girl Scarcity

Fat Girl Scarcity — the sense that we are not enough or that we don’t have enough — permeates the life of a person in a marginalized body.

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Never date someone who doesn’t love your belly!

Take The Cake: Never Date Someone Who Doesn’t Love Your Belly

You deserve someone who loves your body, who makes you feel safe, who makes you feel sexy. Never date someone who doesn’t love your belly!

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You look into the chocolate long enough and the chocolate looks back, girl. Image: supplied.

Take The Cake: Saint Mary Of The Chocolates

Jacob (boyfriend) lives walking distance to a See’s Candies. This means that half the week I live walking distance to a See’s Candies — which, if you're me, is a little like living next to Disneyland.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: Doing Friendsgiving Is A Radical Act For Me

What horrible thing is going to happen this year? Is my aunt going to touch me or someone else inappropriately or make sexual innuendo? What terrible thing is my mother going to say to my aunt about her internet boyfriend who steals chicken from my grandparents’ garage freezer in the middle of the night?

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