Winona Dimeo-Ediger

There’s that moment when you’re waiting in line for a buffet when you get a whiff of something funky, and one of your friends is like, “Is that vomit?” and another one is like, “Is it coming from that plant?” and you all shudder, plug your noses, and forget about it 20 minutes later because dude, all you can eat crab!

You deserve to be happy just as you are, and that extends to the clothes you put on in the morning. I’m so glad you’ve decided to buy some clothes that fit and make you feel fabulous and stylish. Even if it’s just a few new pieces, it’s going to make such a difference in the way you look and feel.

"While ample cleavage comes in handy for filling out sundresses and storing cracker crumbs for later, it presents a professional dressing challenge that’s annoying and a little unfair ... "

The thing is, we soak in these body-judging lessons from a very young age, before we even know how damaging they are. Some of the messages are implicit, like when we see a fat girl getting made fun of on the playground (or, for many of us, when we are the fat girl getting made fun of on the playground) and learn that being fat is not just wrong, it’s a punishable offense.

I grew up way out in the country, and lying in bed at night I used to gaze out my window and think, “Maybe someday I’ll live in a cool apartment in the city where I can walk to stuff.” That was literally my big dream of far-off adulthood.

Half the fun (or maybe more than half? Maybe all the fun, actually) of going to the gym is getting decked out in cute workout clothes.

"These days, I don’t shop at the mall very often, but every once in a while when I find myself at a mall — any — I’m overcome by a wave of nostalgia for my salad days (although perhaps “Sbarro calzone days” would be a more fitting expression here). In many ways, I grew up in these chain stores and pretzel kiosks. And sometimes I feel compelled to write melodramatic poetry about it."

"Your quest to stay true to your retro aesthetic is not impossible. Here are a few tips for incorporating your love of vintage into a modern, casual wardrobe."

Dear Winona,

At any given moment 43% of Portland residents are chained to something in protest. The other 57% are already in jail for chaining themselves to other things.