No woman should feel she must give up motherhood or lose her career.
I got married young and had my first child young. My husband and I joke that we had a “white trash wedding,” getting hiched when I was twenty years old and seven months pregnant with our now eight-year-old son. (The truth is that my husband is in the military and our story is kinda the norm.)
Becoming a mom at such a young age put my life into perspective, taught me so many thing, took me away from things, but ultimately? It ended up being the biggest blessing and has helped me live my life to the fullest.
But, there are definitely people who would disagree. Take the recent ranting of comedian Sarah Silverman for example. She shared on Twitter: "As a comic always working & on the road I have had to decide between motherhood & living my fullest life & I chose the latter."
Well, that kinda stung a little when I read it. In fact, an awful lot of moms thought it stung and were outraged about Silverman's mom-shaming.
Not cool, Sarah. Not cool at all.
I don’t believe that you have to choose one or the other. Why would we have to choose when we can have both? It’s all about balance, and that, my friends, is something that I’ve learned through being a mom. I get that motherhood might be more challenging for moms in certain careers as opposed to others. Being a writer, right now I’m able to work from home, which does provide some flexibility to my day-to-day, and enables me to be home with my kids. I do see how being in a different profession might make motherhood more challenging and add to daily mom guilt, but I think if being a parent is something that you really want, you would work through those hurdles.
Even with the demands of careers and life, I still think that Silverman was off-base. While she’s completely entitled to her own opinion — we all are — and I think it’s pertinent to address that there are so many women, even in Silverman’s profession, who have made it work. Take Ali Wong, for instance. She’s a celebrated comedian who travels all over, works on the hit television show American Housewife, and has even had her own Netflix special. She’s a mom and works and somehow balances it all. And when motherhood gets her down, she makes funny jokes about it that we can all relate to.
Being fulfilled looks different for every single mom out there, so you have to find your groove. But I can’t imagine giving up the opportunity to be a parent, have endless cuddles with my kids, kiss boo-boos and tuck them in bed every night, out of fear that I might have to give up my career...
I ended up finishing my degree (while chasing a rambunctious toddler) in fashion marketing and started my own very successful blog about... fashion and motherhood. I write full time between the blog and writing clients, and I wake up every single morning excited to grab my coffee and fire up the computer. I still breathe the industry and attend fashion week and private collection previews, but it’s all done on my own terms that make it conducive to my mom life and my babysitter’s schedule. And I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m fulfilled by that.
Being fulfilled looks different for every single mom out there, so you have to find your groove. But I can’t imagine giving up the opportunity to be a parent, have endless cuddles with my kids, kiss boo-boos and tuck them in bed every night, out of fear that I might have to give up my career... or that I wouldn’t have a career fulfilling enough because I was racing home to get dinner on the table.
While there are sucky, low, horrible motherhood moments that we all try to wish away, the thing about motherhood is this: your kids love you no matter what, and each morning when you all rise to start your day is a do-over. That’s something you don’t really get with your career.
Without a doubt, motherhood has been the biggest teaching tool in my life. It has taught me how to be organized, plan out my days, weeks, months because heck — if I want to work, I need to make those plans and know them like the back of my hand. It has made me more structured, but it’s also taught me when to let my hair down and take a day off, something my workaholic self probably never would have done without parenthood.
Motherhood has molded me into the person that I am today and created a woman who walks through life living every single day to the fullest, because I have so much to live for.
Again, every woman has the right to choose the path that best works for them. Sarah Silverman shared her story. Now I am simply sharing mine.