childfree

Most of my friends are my age or slightly older and yet virtually none of them want children… ever. They argue that women deserve respect and autonomy over their bodies. I passionately agree. A few of these friends are, like me, engaged or married, but even they don’t want kids. One of my engaged friends says she and her fiancé may want to adopt children later in life, after they’ve had the chance to travel extensively.

Now that I’ve turned 30 (and wear caftans) I’m done reading vapid click-bait offering prosaic advice. This is not one of those articles.

There are so many reasons someone might not have kids. Whether they decided to never have kids, are having difficulties getting pregnant, or just don’t want kids right now, it’s really not up to you.

If you’re in any relationship only for what you get out of it, you’re in that relationship for the wrong reasons. Really, it’s not about the other person either; it’s about the relationship. Like actors in a play, you’re there together to tell one story. It’s not about you. So be kind, be generous, be compassionate, be forgiving, and above all, be supportive of the relationship itself — not just the other person in it.

Parenting is not easy. It’s really hard — even more so for single parents. I can only guess that parents are frustrated with being parents. I imagine it’s frustrating to watch people like me take a 2-hour nap whenever they want, when all you want is five minutes to go to the bathroom alone.

Just because a couple decides to marry doesn’t automatically mean that they want kids. Many couples in loving relationships simply want to share a life together — without any children. There is no rule to say they should.