humor

Few things are morally sacred in this world, but Santa Claus is one of them.

Christmas Is Sacred

Every holiday season, my younger brother Dusty tries to get the family to watch Christmas horror movies. Few things are morally sacred in this world, but Santa Claus is one of them.

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In case you’re curious — or fear you may be old — here are a few moments that helped me realize the truth about my oldness.

9 Signs You've Been Doing This Life Thing For A While

In case you’re curious — or fear you may be old — here are a few moments that helped me realize the truth about my oldness.

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Wouldn’t it be nice to get Mother's Day cards from your kids that showed they actually get you?

11 Mother's Day Cards We Should Be Getting From Our Kids 

Wouldn’t it be nice to get Mother's Day cards from your kids that showed they actually get you? A cards and 15 pounds of good chocolate should about do it.

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Well that's depressing.

7 Things You Didn't Know About The Bulls*^t That Is Daylight Saving Time

Did you know that it’s actually called Daylight SAVING Time? Not SAVINGS. If you’ve been saving SAVINGS for the last 30 years, you’re wrong.

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I can only hope that Aloe Vera Drink does a better job than those adhesive pads you put on your feet that supposedly draw out toxins while you sleep.

8 Things This Bottle Of Knock-Off "Aloe Vera Drink" Will DEFINITELY Do For Me

I can only hope that Aloe Vera Drink does a better job than those adhesive pads you put on your feet that supposedly draw out toxins while you sleep.

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Christmas AF!

4 Ways To Be Christmas AF

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Go forth and get Christmas AF, and enjoy the absurdity of this magical season. Happy holidays!

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The point is, if you feel like you're sucking at the back-to-school transition, take heart. I am out here doing way way worse.

It's Only The 2nd Week Of School & I'm Already Falling Apart

Clearly, it does not take long for my over-ambition to turn me from a vision of perfection into a train wreck you can't look away from. Behold, my first week of school splendor, versus my second week of school ineptitude.

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My browser history is a long list of nothing but retail URLs, peppered with a few visits to my bank’s website to survey the ongoing wreckage. And it’s all because of the solar eclipse.

Eclipse Spending: It's A Real Phenomenon

Eclipse spending is a real phenomenon! There is hard science to back me up on this. What, you want to see receipts? Fine!

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