Jennifer Fliss

Jennifer Fliss

Bio

Jennifer Fliss is a New York raised, Wisconsin schooled, Seattle based writer. Her writing has appeared or is forthcoming in diverse publications including, Ravishly, The Establishment, Brain Child Magazine, Zelle/Runner’s World, and The Citron Review. More can be found on her website, www.jenniferflisscreative.com

Jennifer Fliss Articles

AMAZEBALLS.

2015 Vernacular That Needs To Go. Now. 

All the feels. If you take this out of context (and it’s never really in context), it sounds vaguely pornographic. No, not vaguely. It does sound pornographic. So a kitty and bunny befriending each other should not evoke “all the feels.” Otherwise please step away. Slowly...slowly...now go.

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To my bullies.

A Letter To My Bullies

You held a cap gun to my head on the bus ride home from school, threatening to shoot me, day after day. I know you couldn't have known that I had something similar happening at home.

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Make sure your tiny person doesn’t drown, or run, or get doused by the ginormous bucket that drops six tons of water every three minutes. This is where waterboarding came from. Effective. Torturous.

So, You Want To Take Your Kids To An Indoor Water Park Resort?

Nothing says "I’m patriotic" quite like going to a wolf-themed indoor water park resort wearing your wolf-themed t-shirt. With your floaties on. And a beer in your hand.

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Just kidding, you're asleep. That was a dream.

It's Valentine's Day; Let There Be Coffee And Sleep And Sexless Back Rubs

You wake up to birds chirping, just kidding, you don’t, because it’s February and it’s freezing, and also you have a kid. 

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No grinding espresso, please.

5 Things Made To Sabotage Your Baby's Infancy And Your Sanity

Don’t flush the toilet. Don’t turn on the lights. This is a good time to either meditate or partake in that incredibly wise bit of advice to sleep when the baby sleeps.

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Chick-fil-A’s Mom’s Valet And The Not-So-Subtle Nod To The Company’s Family "Values"

Chick-fil-A is at it again. This time they’re out to help. Honestly. They’ve rolled out a new service, the Mom’s Valet. Moms can order their food via the drive-thru and then go inside the fast-food restaurant, where a table will be ready, complete with high chairs and booster seats, and then have their food brought to the table by an employee. The program isn’t implemented by their corporate office yet, but has been rolled out in over 100 Chick-fil-A outlets.

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Just add socks and fire. Boom: hygge.

How To Appropriate Hygge In 13 Easy Steps

Invite friends over. They should be attractive, but don’t have to be.

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Duhhh-daaaahhh-duh-duh-duh-DAAAAH-duuuh...

Star Wars Takes A Wife

On a dark rainy night, when our toddler was asleep, he set up Star Wars: A New Hope — who knew that was what it was called? — on the laptop. I, with a skeptical brow, cozy blanket, and my phone (in case boredom struck)...

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