patriarchy

I’m just as feminine and fun with my glasses as I am without. My glasses sure don't make me less attractive. Glasses are sexy!

Obviously, now from my elder perch, I realize it’s best to withhold judgment, especially contempt for actions that bring personal joy at life stages you haven’t reached yet. (Though I’m still not married and get cranky that women are taking their husband’s last names more so than twenty years ago.)

Right now, on Facebook and Twitter and other social media platforms, thousands of women are freely sharing knowledge, opinions, and personal experiences. Chilling, isn’t it? If you’re a man on the internet, your duty is to swiftly and decisively correct them. This is a beginner’s guide to mansplaining on Facebook.

When we assume women are younger, we associate their youth with their lack of life experiences. Particularly in a workplace environment, the assumption that a female colleague looks younger wrongfully and negatively reflects on their professional experience, even though they likely worked harder than their male counterparts to get there.

I don’t want to move the line of the socially acceptable body by 50 or 100 or 150 pounds. I want to get rid of the line altogether because the line hurts everyone — even the people who are seen as the “winners.”

The point is: no matter how wonderfully delicious a man (or anyone) is, once you’ve seen him sneeze, fall, eat peanut butter or chew loudly, if there’s nothing else (or mostly nothing else), then he will ultimately make your skin crawl. So, there’s no point after all, right? In doing things the way we know how to do them?

If a man isn’t attracted to me because of my hair, it tells me two things: Number one, he has a one-dimensional perception of femininity. Number two, he’s an asshat.

“Introducing Nexsey! No more shall we hide our necks as we age!” Hold the phone, people. Something else to make us feel inadequate has been invented. It’s called Nexsey and it’s a piece of medical grade TAPE used to rein in neck wrinkles.