support

If we aren’t going to be honest about how we really are, why are we asking?

Suicidality is a strange thing. Sometimes you think you’ve shaken it off, but it’s actually still there, quietly brewing under the surface until something triggers it.

Survivors need support, but often, when they reach out, they are met with responses that only cause further trauma. The impact of these responses is immense.

Everyone, whether they have a mental illness or not, knows what it’s like to be in total despair and have no idea what to do about it. You’re curled up in bed, you don’t want to move, and you desperately wish you knew how to make things better.

Not every victim speaks out, and few actually report the crime to the authorities. If a friend happens to trust you with this information, it’s your duty as a human being to be there for them in every way possible.

Being vulnerable, being seen (even lumpy and naked), admitting weakness, asking for help — these acts inspire and edify.

I used to be the one that pushed everyone away out of fear that I was too demanding or too toxic or “too much.” But I’m finally at a place in my life where I understand just how important it is to lean on your support system — and so I’m committed to not running away anymore.

“It can feel quite isolating or even invalidating when someone is trying that ‘Cheer up’ approach, or comparisons like, ‘It’s not so bad, look at the people who have it so much worse’,” explains Tal Schlosser, Clinical Psychologist at My Life Psychologists. “We have the feelings we have and someone saying, ‘Don’t worry about it’ doesn’t make it go away. In fact, we can feel even worse about the fact we can’t just snap out of it.” Part of the motivation to cheer people up is tied to how society typically views emotions. According to Dr Janine Clarke, Psychologist at Mend Psychology and The Sydney ACT Centre, there are six ‘basic,’ universal emotions — sadness, anger, disgust, fear, happiness and surprise — and we’ve been conditioned to perceive happiness as the only one worth pursuing.