Topless Toddler In Times Square Prompts Police Presence

In today's ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME news: Topless toddlers — well, just one toddler.

You may, or may not, be familiar with the "desnudas" of Times Square, who are essentially ladies without shirts on (free the nipple, folks). Well the 'desnudas," aka topless lovelies, walk around scantily-clad and fabulously painted. They pose for tourist photos (probably mostly men) and will accept tips for participation in said photographic experiences. 

NOW. Say what you will about public nudity (by which I mean, shut up), but this is capitalism as it should be. Got a nice rack? Got any rack? Got any real desire to stand outside and deal with the thousands of tourists that flood Times Square on the daily? BAM. You've got an income. And also, you are really smart.

Governor Cuomo is apparently scared of boobies because he thinks this is all too much. In fact, he'd like to just go ahead a remove the sidewalks. Because then where would The Boobies go? Away, that's where.

Regardless, one of these lovely ladies decided to take her toddler along for the day. Who knows why. Maybe she didn't have childcare. Maybe she is single. Maybe she thought her little cherub looks cute in a tutu. Maybe she thought a cute toddler would attract more attention (DUH).  Maybe all of those things. Maybe none of those things. Her little girl stood with her, in topless solidarity. 

There are far stranger things in Times Square. BERT AND ERNIE ARE IN TIMES SQUARE. And the guy that looks like he's made of tin. 

Everything was all fine and well until the NYPD thought it would be prudent to tell the mother to cover the child. Mom complied, probably because police officers can be sort of intimidating. Maybe she was afraid she'd go to jail if she didn't comply. Maybe she just didn't feel like arguing. 

But HOLD THE PHONE. Why in the holy name of Oprah would a police officer make a toddler wear a shirt? Oh hi misogyny, I was hoping you were gone. Oh hey rape culture, Times Square seems as good place as any to get a start on making people cover up because of some presumed danger that is not their responsibility. 

My little kids basically never wear clothes. In fact, getting them dressed in the morning is pretty much like trying to put a tube sock on a elephant's trunk. That's fine with me. They'll be wearing clothes their whole lives. Or at least until we stop shaming them.

topless beach toddler

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