Listful Thinking: 10 Lame Pickup Lines and Why They Work

At some point or another, we've all heard the poetic musings of dedicated pickup artists in their quest to find their true loves.

"Are you a parking ticket? Because you have 'fine' written all over you!"

"Do you work for NASA? Because you are out of this world!"

Usually they don't work—but sometimes? They do! Research shows that pickup lines work best on women who are looking for a "short term mate" (i.e. a one night stand). Women who want something more long term just won't dig it. The casual nature of the wording is a turn-off for them, but a delicious helllllo to those craving a more casual thing. But even so, some lines are just so appallingly dumb it's hard to say "yes" without losing some dignity.

Moving on. Here are some hilarious lines that were actually used to real live women.Bonus: One line resulted in a relationship. Can you guess which one?

1. "I see you have a lot of trunk space. Can I put my bike in it?"

2. "You don't have a wedding ring. Does that mean you're not married?"

3. "Do you like chicken?"
     [holds out elbow]
     "Grab a wing!"

4. "I hope you have health insurance since you just fell out of heaven!"

5. "Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?"

6. "Do you have any change? No? Well, can I have your number instead?"

7. [Said by a dude driving a hearse] "Hey big girl it's a little crowded now, but later on there will be lots of room back there."

8. "Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see me in your pants!"

9. "I don't know you, but your eyes were calling to me from across the room. I had to get closer."

10. "You have beautiful calves. I think you were my wife in a previous life when I was a Sasquatch."

(And the winning line goes to "nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?") Props on being direct, sir.

Image: Let's hope they don't jizz in their pants. Courtesy of Lonely Island YouTube channel

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