We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child:
1. You buy children’s clothing for your dog, because fur isn’t enough of a cover-up. Duh. Dogs love clothes. Fact.
2. When someone asks if you want kids someday, you say, “I don’t know, I already have my hands full with one!”
3. You don't think your dog’s poop is gross. Poop bags can be found within a five-foot radius. And dingleberries? No problem! Where are the baby wipes? Your dog’s butt is sparkling clean!
4. You make sure you're serious about someone you're dating before you introduce him/her to your dog. If the dog does not like said person, bye-bye. No questions asked. Doggie knows best.
5. You start looking at competitive private doggie day care facilities because you want to make sure he/she gets a good head start.
6. You're already worried about obedience school tuition.
7. Your dog has his or her own car seat, and because of this, actual people might be denied a seatbelt in your car (just fake it if we get pulled over!).
8. You talk to random people at length about the kind of gluten-free, high-protein, organic food you feed your dog. People totally want to know this information.
9. Your dog drinks bottled water. Fiji. Only the very best.
10. Your dog has birthday parties bigger than your own. So many party hats! Your dog’s IG account just blew up.
11. You stay in touch with your dog's birth parents, and sibling play dates are mandatory. It’s an important part of socializing.
12. Your dog, although unlikely to outlive you, is in your will. You are making sure he or she does not get into the wrong hands! (Certain family members are just a NO.)
Are we talking about you? Yes, yes we are! Look at my baby!