Be nice to your sales associate.
Retail work can be thankless, so when you get great service from someone, you thank them effusively, tell their manager, buy them a cinnamon pretzel, and get their mom’s mailing address so you can send her a card that says, “You raised your child up right.”
Working retail is a rewarding lifelong career for some, a fleeting experiment in insanity for others, and a rite of passage for many. Whatever your relationship to this industry, one thing’s for sure: After you’ve worked retail, you’re never the same. All those hours of folding, hanging, merchandising, and giving subtle side-eye to the lady who’s trying to return a dryer-shrunk cashmere sweater will inevitably affect your world view, attitude, and especially your shopping habits. Want proof? Here are 10 telltale signs that make it easy to spot a current or past retail worker:
1. You carefully straighten out all your bills before handing them to the cashier. While many people are content to toss a crumpled-up wad of cash in the general direction of the register, you know exactly how annoying that is.
2. You instinctually count the number of seconds between walking into a store and being greeted. And you start getting very anxious if it takes more than five. Not because you’re just DYING to be greeted, but because you’re worried someone is going to get in trouble with the manager for not saying “Hi!” in a welcoming voice fast enough.
3. You leave tables of folded sweaters more pristine than they were before you got there. If you need to dig through a pile of folded cardigans to find your size, you can bet that pile of sweaters is going to be better off for it, because you will painstakingly re-fold each item, lining up all the corners, smoothing any wrinkles, and making sure the top one is appealingly displayed.
4. When a sales associate approaches you to see if you need help, you wink and say, “Thanks, but trust me, I’ve got this.” And yeah, maybe that’s a little creepy, but come on. You know exactly what you’re doing.
5. When someone does a great job, you go above and beyond to make sure they’re recognized for it. Retail work can be thankless, so when you get great service from someone, you thank them effusively, tell their manager, buy them a cinnamon pretzel, and get their mom’s mailing address so you can send her a card that says, “You raised your child up right.”
6. You would never DREAM of talking on your phone during a transaction. Because you know from experience how uniquely dehumanizing and soul-crushing it is to try to engage with someone who is chatting idly with their sister and not making eye contact with you.
7. You always bring all your clothes out of the dressing room — on the hangers, buttoned up, and sorted into categories for easy restocking. It’s just second nature at this point.
8. You know exactly how to capitalize on sales, points, and loyalty cards. A friend of mine used to work at Banana Republic, and every time he goes shopping there now, he presents a handful of store cards, points, friends and family coupons, and discount codes. Tell him you like his corduroy slacks and he’ll say, “Thanks! I got them for 30 cents.”
9. When you hear an intercom request for customer service in the home goods section, you are tempted to go help. Who cares if you don’t work at this store and know nothing about home goods? What if they need you?!
10. You have recurring nightmares about a weird smell coming from the men’s bathroom. And there’s no one else in your dream willing or available to go in there and clean it up. Shuuudddeeerrrr.
