Sex + Love

There I was, thrusting my hips and making appropriate noises while gazing up at a white ceiling that crowned azure walls. The hustle and bustle of San Francisco’s Nob Hill district reverberated through the room; I hoped it hid my yawn.

Humans crave relationships. It nourishes us. We degenerate in its absence. If we want a great relationship, we have to build it. Just like we build our homes.

"So what happens when the split is acrimonious and your friends end up dumping you, too? Suddenly you’re treated as an outcast, and when you bump into them in the street, they pretend they haven’t seen you, even when you’re standing in the next line in Costco!"

You obviously shouldn’t go too crazy, but playing the field never hurt anyone ... and remember, "Monogamy isn't realistic."

This is perhaps one of the things I treasure most about our marriage. We love spending time together, but we also both crave solitude now and again. We allow each other to have the space to decompress after a long day or to explore a budding hobby. When he’s tinkering in the garage listening to The Clash, I might be upstairs writing a blog post and burning incense.

Over the years of dating, I’ve found that after each break-up, I’d be bitter. On the flip side, I’ve remained civil with most of my exes. I’ve always been a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason — and I won’t deny that I’ve doubted it at times.

Then we had that talk that made my eye twitch: the budget talk.

I recently returned to the online dating arena and was immediately reminded of why I left. As a man interested in the arts I find myself at odds with that acme of the stereotypical alpha male, bare chested post-gym workout selfie. Ladies, here are my notes on what you should expect from a manly man vs. a hipster dude on OkCupid.