Allison Cooper

Most of us grow up envisioning the “perfect” family that we will have one day. One boy, one girl – 3 years apart. Right?

I remember very vividly those first days of feeding my son solids.

These are the things I anticipate most when my kids finally go the eff to sleep. I deserve it after a day of being in what feels like survival mode.

I grew up dreaming of living in that house with the perfect blue shutters and the white picket fence, three perfectly interspaced children running

Finding yourself doing extra loads of laundry because your toddler’s favorite T-shirt is dirty and you know there will be the mother of all meltdowns tomorrow if it’s not clean?

In theory, the concept of a new mom not being able to answer your phone calls and/or texts right away should be self-explanatory...

I can't just embrace the chaos. I wish I could follow the advice: “Stop stressing, Allison, you work full time, stop comparing yourself to mothers who don’t." But I can’t help but to play that comparing game and label myself as the inadequate mom.

When I brought my son into the world, I thought that he would be an awful lot like me. He had to be, right? He grew inside me; I nourished him; I was the one home with him day in and day out during those very impressionable years, while my husband worked a grueling military schedule — yet there are few similarities to be found.

Eventually, I accepted the need to just let things go (like keeping up with cleaning), and embrace all the chaos that new motherhood brings. So, here are some tips from people who know best, plus one that I think I learned the hard way.

Make sure that at least twice a year you are getting rid of unused or old makeup — even your eyeshadow as these are laden with bacteria.