Eliana Osborn

They were horrible.

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

1. Write a damn letter.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

The other magical thing about living in 2015 is the Internet. You can get great training in all kinds of fields while sitting in your underwear at home.