Eliana Osborn

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

I always have a small piece of my brain on mom mode, no matter what else is happening. I have no problem with this, since that is how humanity has survived.

Kirk Cameron in all his Growing Pains glory was the ideal crush. Unthreatening, goofy, good kid with very reasonable weekly conflicts. And a good smile. Always been a sucker for that.

I, like far too many women in this country and the world, have had a wide variety of experiences involving sexual harassment.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

1. Write a damn letter.

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.