Eliana Osborn

They were horrible.

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

I always have a small piece of my brain on mom mode, no matter what else is happening. I have no problem with this, since that is how humanity has survived.

You know how someone can give you a compliment that you know isn’t true? Like, they tell you a dress looks good when you are absolutely certain that is not the case? But if they keep saying it looks good, you start to think “Yeah... this looks good.”

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

I’m not alone in being troubled by how people suddenly disappear in life, right? That’s essentially why the internet was created. You may have heard rumors about Al Gore inventing it for military purposes... Lies!

1. Borrow a child.

In Anchorage, Alaska, there are 5 hours, 27 minutes of daylight on December 21. The good news: The numbers only go up for the next six months. The bad news: December 22 has merely seconds more light.