Eliana Osborn

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

1. Write a damn letter.

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.