Eliana Osborn

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

For you, dear readers, who are thrilled with the teacher in your life — be it your own teacher, the instructor of your child, or even the person who does piano or karate — this list is for you.

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

I, like far too many women in this country and the world, have had a wide variety of experiences involving sexual harassment.

Help.

They were horrible.

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.