Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

Might as well face it, you're addicted to...long hair.

I Cut My Hair And Never Looked Back

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

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1:54 PM: Stephanie has the softest hands in the universe.

Massage Therapy: A Minute-By-Minute Account

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

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I need an updated mental picture.

Lost Love: When You Can't Find Your Ex On The Internet

I’m not alone in being troubled by how people suddenly disappear in life, right? That’s essentially why the internet was created. You may have heard rumors about Al Gore inventing it for military purposes... Lies!

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OMG. CHILL.

Traveling With Kids Doesn't Have To Kill You

Don’t listen to horror stories about airplane tantrums. Listen to me while I let you in on the secret perks of seeing the world with kiddos.

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There is no one activity undertaken every single day that will guarantee a healthy, non-annoying, responsible child. Image: Thinkstock.

7000 Days Of Parenting Is 'All' You Have — But Everything's Going To Be Fine, I Promise.

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.

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The cake isn't a guarantee.

My Marriage Almost Didn't Make It. So Why Are We Still Together?

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

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Teachers will appreciate the help, trust us.

Volunteering At Your Kid's School Can Be Fun...Really

My main reason for doing reading testing, enduring a bus ride to a field trip about weapons engineering, and other thrills? Stalking.

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Pictured: Numbers 5 and 6.

The Parts Of Parenting That Don't Suck

When I’m staring at the wall trying to keep my cool when my 6-year-old is hysterical about the tiny bump on his finger, I attempt to channel some of the good parts.

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"Hatch baby"? Image: Thinkstock.

Just Say No To Baby Tech

I get how we want to make our kids successful and everything, right from the start. Feeding into the pressure, here’s the tagline from Starling’s company: “The world’s first word-tracking system that can improve your child’s trajectory for life.”

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I heart Trevor.

My Future Love Affair With Trevor Noah (That Will Totally Happen)

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

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