Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

Kirk 4ever

Kirk Cameron Was My First

Kirk Cameron in all his Growing Pains glory was the ideal crush. Unthreatening, goofy, good kid with very reasonable weekly conflicts. And a good smile. Always been a sucker for that.

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Pictured: Numbers 5 and 6.

The Parts Of Parenting That Don't Suck

When I’m staring at the wall trying to keep my cool when my 6-year-old is hysterical about the tiny bump on his finger, I attempt to channel some of the good parts.

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Having to walk carefully to avoid wedgies? Not helping any of us be our best selves. Image: Thinkstock.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Buying The Correct Size

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

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This is the Heimlich, not a hug.

Important Adult Things You Should Learn To Do In 2016

Perfectly Karaoke Or Lip Sync A Song: You may think this is less important than the other items on the list. You are wrong.

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Never leave him alone — in the pool, the bath, anything. Image: Thinkstock.

I Won't Hide My Son's Epilepsy, Even If My Husband Disagrees With This Approach

My husband is worried about stigma, about Owen feeling different, about epilepsy being part of his identity. Those are sweet concerns, really. And I get it — I love the kid too. I’d never want to make his life harder in any way.

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The next step, obviously. Image: <a href="http://www.lifespanfitness.com/tr800-dt5-treadmill-desk">LifeSpan Fitness</a>

A Day In The Life At My Standing Desk

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

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Baranta: Sometimes there are horses.

Workout Trends Of The Future You Can Try Right Now

Baranta is a new martial art focusing on traditional folk dancing and activities.

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Unlike Dr. B, Dr. Frasier Crane is listening. Image: Wikipedia

I Don't Hate People...But I Hate My Psychiatrist

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

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My poor, authoritarian conservative father nearly had a heart attack. Image: Youtube screenshot.

Sexy Songs Are Nothing New

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

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