Eliana Osborn

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

I’m not alone in being troubled by how people suddenly disappear in life, right? That’s essentially why the internet was created. You may have heard rumors about Al Gore inventing it for military purposes... Lies!

1. Borrow a child.

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

They were horrible.

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

...But not in the way you'd think.

For you, dear readers, who are thrilled with the teacher in your life — be it your own teacher, the instructor of your child, or even the person who does piano or karate — this list is for you.

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.