Eliana Osborn

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

After years in apartments that should have been condemned, even these sad restroom facilities were vast improvements. And so we stayed, the husband and I, vaguely embarrassed when guests stayed over and commented on the bordello vibe of the bathroom.

Then we had a kid. No working bathtub suddenly seemed like a big deal. And the functional bathroom spaces weren’t places you’d want to hang out. There’s a lot of bathroom time once you’ve got tiny humans. (You’ve been warned.)

Sick of hearing about your friend's perfect pregnancy?Give one of these amazing gifts at the baby shower and you shouldn’t have to worry about this anymore.

Full-fat dairy may be “healthier” for you than low-fat dairy. “May” be, as in, probably is, like with numbers and science and stuff.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

My Life on the Road (or MLR) is not what I expected...the idea of not waiting for experience to come to you permeates the book.

Help.

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.