Eliana Osborn

Help.

How do you love someone who continually does things to hurt himself? I’ve been holding a phone with my stoned, sobbing brother on the other end for nearly 20 years. I keep picking up the pieces, keep having my heart break, because he’s my brother.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

My Life on the Road (or MLR) is not what I expected...the idea of not waiting for experience to come to you permeates the book.

When did I discover that sterilization isn’t as cut and dry as it seems? While sitting in a hospital gown, signing my life away, awaiting surgery.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

1. Write a damn letter.

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.