Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

Oh Paige, you just get me...

The People I Fell In Love With While Pregnant

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

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We all need people who believe in us.

Loving Is Hard

How do you love someone who continually does things to hurt himself? I’ve been holding a phone with my stoned, sobbing brother on the other end for nearly 20 years. I keep picking up the pieces, keep having my heart break, because he’s my brother.

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Did you shower today? You've already started on one.

Here Are Some Realistic New Year's Resolutions

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

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Plus, you might get to meet the Greendale crew. Image: NBC

I'm A College Professor Who Thinks You Shouldn't Go To "Regular" College

The other magical thing about living in 2015 is the Internet. You can get great training in all kinds of fields while sitting in your underwear at home.

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I want to make the kids turn off their screens as I would in regular life back on the ground, but it seems like this is not the time to stick to rules or try for a parenting victory.

Screen Time Got My Family Through An 18-Hour Flight. I Regret Nothing.

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

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Unlike Dr. B, Dr. Frasier Crane is listening. Image: Wikipedia

I Don't Hate People...But I Hate My Psychiatrist

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

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Teachers will appreciate the help, trust us.

Volunteering At Your Kid's School Can Be Fun...Really

My main reason for doing reading testing, enduring a bus ride to a field trip about weapons engineering, and other thrills? Stalking.

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Notice how young she is...

Things I Can't Do Now That I'm Nearly 40

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.

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Perhaps not this dramatic. Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Elizabeth_Taylor_in_Cleopatra#/media/File:1963_Cleopatra_trailer_screenshot_(11).jpg">Wikimedia</a>

Dear World: Should I Get Permanent Eyeliner?

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

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