Eliana Osborn

I’ve got two tales of hideous male behavior — at the elementary school, somewhere typically full of good vibes and happiness and all that.

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

My husband is worried about stigma, about Owen feeling different, about epilepsy being part of his identity. Those are sweet concerns, really. And I get it — I love the kid too. I’d never want to make his life harder in any way.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

Sick of hearing about your friend's perfect pregnancy?Give one of these amazing gifts at the baby shower and you shouldn’t have to worry about this anymore.

Help.

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.