Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

When I left sobbing it wasn’t from a breakthrough — it was out of annoyance and hopelessness. Image: Thinkstock.

The Endless Search For The Right Therapist

I’m not broken by this therapy failure. Jane wasn't the person to help me at this point of my life. Someone else WILL be.

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"I felt good."

Running Literally Saved My Life

...But not in the way you'd think.

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Image: Tumblr (of course)

An Open Letter To The Snotty Bag Boy At My Local Grocery Store

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

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I'll pass on the Pledge, thanks.

I Don't Say The Pledge Of Allegiance And I Want My Kids To Stop

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

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The Bromance. AKA being a human being with close friendships.

Breaking News: Science Proves Bromances Are Crucial To Men's Happiness

You may have heard the term "bromance" and tried to wash your ears out with bleach (bad idea). Sadly, scientist types heard the word too.

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Word on the street is that a home-based business is started every 12 seconds. I’m thinking that means a lot of people are trying to sell a lot of crap.

Home-Based Businesses: Self-Help Or Scam?

It is hard to find any real numbers about how many people do "direct sales" or how much money they make. The web is full of either big promises or pissed-off former sellers. What I do know, from bazillions of friends and family, is that making much more than pocket money means selling like a real job. Yes, it might be more flexible, but there’s no magic formula.

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Doesn't that look delicious? Image: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Biscuits-and-gravy.jpg">Wikipedia</a>

White Foods Are Disgusting And Probably Poison

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

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I try to contain my fears, my own insecurities. I want them to shine, even as I’m terrified watching them climb and jump and dream.

When My Kids Go Onstage, I'm More Frightened Than They Are

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

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The author and her sister.

The Strange, Strong Bond of Sisterhood

My sister Liz is full of wisdom, like my favorite quote I’ve shared with practically everyone I know: “Every pair of underwear has two good sides.”

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My poor, authoritarian conservative father nearly had a heart attack. Image: Youtube screenshot.

Sexy Songs Are Nothing New

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

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