Eliana Osborn

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

In Anchorage, Alaska, there are 5 hours, 27 minutes of daylight on December 21. The good news: The numbers only go up for the next six months. The bad news: December 22 has merely seconds more light.

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

You know how someone can give you a compliment that you know isn’t true? Like, they tell you a dress looks good when you are absolutely certain that is not the case? But if they keep saying it looks good, you start to think “Yeah... this looks good.”