Eliana Osborn

When did I discover that sterilization isn’t as cut and dry as it seems? While sitting in a hospital gown, signing my life away, awaiting surgery.

I’m not alone in being troubled by how people suddenly disappear in life, right? That’s essentially why the internet was created. You may have heard rumors about Al Gore inventing it for military purposes... Lies!

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

I always have a small piece of my brain on mom mode, no matter what else is happening. I have no problem with this, since that is how humanity has survived.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

You know how someone can give you a compliment that you know isn’t true? Like, they tell you a dress looks good when you are absolutely certain that is not the case? But if they keep saying it looks good, you start to think “Yeah... this looks good.”

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.