Eliana Osborn

...But not in the way you'd think.

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

Don’t listen to horror stories about airplane tantrums. Listen to me while I let you in on the secret perks of seeing the world with kiddos.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.