Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

Baranta: Sometimes there are horses.

Workout Trends Of The Future You Can Try Right Now

Baranta is a new martial art focusing on traditional folk dancing and activities.

Read...
The cake isn't a guarantee.

My Marriage Almost Didn't Make It. So Why Are We Still Together?

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

Read...
I'll pass on the Pledge, thanks.

I Don't Say The Pledge Of Allegiance And I Want My Kids To Stop

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

Read...
Doesn't that look delicious? Image: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Biscuits-and-gravy.jpg">Wikipedia</a>

White Foods Are Disgusting And Probably Poison

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

Read...
How much do these tests REALLY tell us?

Standardized Tests: Intelligence Indicator? Load Of Crap? Worth The Stress?

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

Read...
Hands off, buddy.

All Of These Things Are Sexual Harassment

I, like far too many women in this country and the world, have had a wide variety of experiences involving sexual harassment.

Read...
It's the most wonderful time of the year... Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Anchorage_winter_sun.jpg">Wikipedia</a>

Growing Up In Darkness: Home For The Holidays In Alaska

In Anchorage, Alaska, there are 5 hours, 27 minutes of daylight on December 21. The good news: The numbers only go up for the next six months. The bad news: December 22 has merely seconds more light.

Read...
Sharknadoooo!

5 Life Lessons Learned From Watching All Three Sharknado Movies

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

Read...
Are you serious?

Schools Are Not Sexism-Free

I’ve got two tales of hideous male behavior — at the elementary school, somewhere typically full of good vibes and happiness and all that.

Read...
This picture was too weird not to use.

15 Women's Magazine Headlines That Are Totally Real

What’s That Smell? Sniffing Out Weird House Odors

Read...