Eliana Osborn

1. Borrow a child.

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.

The other magical thing about living in 2015 is the Internet. You can get great training in all kinds of fields while sitting in your underwear at home.

When I’m staring at the wall trying to keep my cool when my 6-year-old is hysterical about the tiny bump on his finger, I attempt to channel some of the good parts.

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

Baranta is a new martial art focusing on traditional folk dancing and activities.

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.