Eliana Osborn

Don’t listen to horror stories about airplane tantrums. Listen to me while I let you in on the secret perks of seeing the world with kiddos.

Full-fat dairy may be “healthier” for you than low-fat dairy. “May” be, as in, probably is, like with numbers and science and stuff.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

Perfectly Karaoke Or Lip Sync A Song: You may think this is less important than the other items on the list. You are wrong.

I, like far too many women in this country and the world, have had a wide variety of experiences involving sexual harassment.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.