Eliana Osborn

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

The most important things my mother taught me included work from Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Wham! and Whitney Houston.

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

I, like far too many women in this country and the world, have had a wide variety of experiences involving sexual harassment.

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

I’ve got two tales of hideous male behavior — at the elementary school, somewhere typically full of good vibes and happiness and all that.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.