Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

"Thanks, but a gift card would have been better."

Gifts That Teachers Will Actually Want

For you, dear readers, who are thrilled with the teacher in your life — be it your own teacher, the instructor of your child, or even the person who does piano or karate — this list is for you.

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Baranta: Sometimes there are horses.

Workout Trends Of The Future You Can Try Right Now

Baranta is a new martial art focusing on traditional folk dancing and activities.

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I am telling the truth. Aren’t I?

That Time I Took A Lie Detector Test

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

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Noticing a bit of a theme here...

There's A Serious Diversity Problem In Higher Education

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

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"Hatch baby"? Image: Thinkstock.

Just Say No To Baby Tech

I get how we want to make our kids successful and everything, right from the start. Feeding into the pressure, here’s the tagline from Starling’s company: “The world’s first word-tracking system that can improve your child’s trajectory for life.”

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Oh Paige, you just get me...

The People I Fell In Love With While Pregnant

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

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I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Image: Thinkstock.

A Letter To A Mom Friend Heading To Rehab

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.

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Doesn't that look delicious? Image: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Biscuits-and-gravy.jpg">Wikipedia</a>

White Foods Are Disgusting And Probably Poison

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

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Sweet Valley High covers. Images: <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/">Goodreads</a>

Sweet Valley High Shaped My World View: '80s Books And What I Learned From Them

Now that I’m a mother, I’m much more sympathetic to a woman who just couldn’t take it anymore. Not saying I’d leave my kids in a parking lot and hope for the best . . . just saying that I can understand the impulse.

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I want to make the kids turn off their screens as I would in regular life back on the ground, but it seems like this is not the time to stick to rules or try for a parenting victory.

Screen Time Got My Family Through An 18-Hour Flight. I Regret Nothing.

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

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