Jody Allard

Advertisers don't encourage us to believe that our kids need to make memories more than another toy to wage war on capitalism; they do it because these experience gifts support incredibly successful industries. When we shift our dollars from toys to travel, for instance, we are still supporting big business.

In today's news, the sky is blue, Republican lawmakers are assholes, and the House just voted to defund Planned Parenthood. Again.

It's hard to think of anything more synonymous with childhood than playing tag.

Once upon a time, a band of heavily-armed men decided to take over an Oregon federal building. Because they were white, the Feds didn't shoot them in 12 seconds, and nobody even really did anything about it. (Possibly also because these intrepid defenders of our Constitution decided to seize a bird sanctuary.)

I didn't have a fairy-tale childhood, unless it was one of those dark and grim ones that really shouldn't be read to children.

Nothing says "Peace On Earth" like women bound and gagged, am I right? Believe it or not, that's exactly the premise behind a family's Christmas card gone horribly awry.

Drug addicted, homeless, and hungry don't add up to hilarity. Neither does the system that arrested this woman for stealing $32 worth of food in a country that throws away 263 millions pounds of food every day –– or a news cycle that chews up and spits out the needy for clicks and likes.

Singer Ciara performed the national anthem before last night's college football national championship game, but it's not her vocal prowess making headlines today –– it's her boobs

9. Use Timeouts—For Yourself!

Okay, I know that's not very Christian of me. Luckily, I'm an atheist. But, really, if we are being honest, who doesn't want to punch Kim Davis in the face by now?