Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

Donald Trump Wants To Ban Muslims, Amazon CEO Has Better Idea

ICYMI, everyone's favorite drunk uncle Donald Trump announced that he's in favor of banning all Muslims from the United States –– including American citizens who leave the country for terrorist-loving activities like going on vacation.

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Your Allergies May Come From Your Ancestors' Sex With Neanderthals

In today's WTF science news, two separate studies suggest that modern allergies may stem from long ago human-Neanderthal sex. Thanks, Obama.

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Don't be fooled. She's actually pushing that child onto the bus.

25 Signs That You're Beyond Ready To Send Your Kids Back To School

"I don't know what I was smoking in June, but it's August now. I've bonded with my kids until we can't bond anymore, and I'm thisclose to booking a one-way ticket to anywhere but here. I love my kids dearly, but I appreciate them even more when I have time to myself, too. I think that's called balance, and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."

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Mark Zuckerberg Announces The Birth Of His Baby –– And A Massive Charity

The pair has pledged to donate 99 percent of their Facebook shares over the course of their lifetime, which currently amount to about $45 billion. You know, just some pocket change.

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Columbus Never Found America And 4 Other Awkward Facts About Columbus Day

We're giving you some of that judgmental side eye right back, Chris.

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World's First Surviving Septuplets Turn 18, Proving We're All Really Old

In 1997, Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey made history when they welcomed the first set of surviving septuplets to the world. Now, 18 years later, as the septuplets prepare to leave the nest, the world has only one question: "How the hell did we all get so old?"

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Your Daily Coffee Habit May Actually Save Your Life

If you're anything like me, your first coffee of the morning is just a warm-up for your next cup of coffee. But now, thanks to the wonders of science, you can chug those buckets of joe guilt-free because coffee may actually make you live longer!

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Viral Photo Declares "Peace On Earth" With Bound And Gagged Women

Nothing says "Peace On Earth" like women bound and gagged, am I right? Believe it or not, that's exactly the premise behind a family's Christmas card gone horribly awry.

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Blacks Belong At "Slower Schools": Supreme Court Justice Scalia Really Just Said That

ICYMI amongst the chorus of outrage over Donald Trump's latest round of racist comments, the Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments this week in Fisher v. the University of Texas, a landmark case challenging the use of race in college admissions –– and Justice Scalia just lost his goddamn mind.

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credit: Ashley Anderson

Please Do Not Dub Sandra Bland A Crazy Black Woman

"Ultimately, it doesn't matter much whether Bland killed herself or was murdered. In both cases, she died because she was hauled into custody for a minor offense that didn't really even merit being pulled over to begin with. Maybe her head injury led to uncharacteristic behavior, or maybe the traumatic arrest triggered a severe PTSD episode, or maybe someone flat out killed her. But, in every case, she died because she was in that police cell."

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