Jody Allard

"I don't know what I was smoking in June, but it's August now. I've bonded with my kids until we can't bond anymore, and I'm thisclose to booking a one-way ticket to anywhere but here. I love my kids dearly, but I appreciate them even more when I have time to myself, too. I think that's called balance, and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."

To further emphasize what can only be described as a batshitcrazy level of hypocrisy, a petition has been started on change.org to ensure that Davis receives the Biblical treatment for her own "misdeeds" –– stoning. While I wouldn't go quite that far, the point is taken. Multiple other petitions have also been started to remove her from office.

The more I told him that something hurt me, the more that he did it.

In case you forgot how good it is to be white in America, Oregon has you covered. After a group of armed lunatics in rural Oregon seized a federal wildlife building, the FBI announced Sunday that it's working to bring a "peaceful" end to the "situation."

Two Canadians failed at hunting but won at life when they freed a bald eagle from a trap and snapped the ultimate selfie.

No one enters into marriage and becomes whole; there is no magical superpower that's granted alongside the marriage license. Marriage is simply two imperfect people who choose to come together in an imperfect union. That union can be remarkable and powerful, but it can also be dysfunctional and excruciating. Sometimes, it's even abusive.

Photo Credit: Elizabeth Boyce

If you don't know who the Holderness family is and have somehow managed to miss their series of painfully awkward viral videos, congratulations! You haven't missed much.

9. Use Timeouts—For Yourself!

ICYMI, "Sixteen and Pregnant" star's Nikkole Paulun's Facebook post about her monthly date nights with her six-year-old son is going viral –– and people are losing their shit over it for entirely the wrong reasons.