Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

I'm Not The Crazy Ex: What We Need To Learn From The McLeod Rape Case

The thing about trauma is that it creates inherently unreliable witnesses. Victims tell as much as they can bear to tell, in that moment, and perhaps even as much as they can remember. Memories can be hazy and dim until the second that the curtain is lifted and the body is thrust back into the moment of abuse. There is no such thing as one way of processing trauma, and there is no perfectly linear path to recovery, either.

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Put Away That Selfie Stick, Selfies Now Kill More People Than Sharks

You are more likely to DIE while taking a selfie than in a shark attack, according to a new report.

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Who in the actual fuck has a whole raw bell pepper at Thanksgiving dinner?

5 Awful Family Members You're Sure To See On Thanksgiving –– And How To Survive

It's time to gather around the table with the family members you see only once or twice a year (for good reason) and try to avoid stabbing each other with your forks. #Blessed.

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Man Punches Elderly Costco Shopper In The Face Over Nutella Waffle Samples

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

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New People Rating App Is Literally The Worst Idea Ever

In case you thought that the Internet couldn't sink any lower, the creators of a new app are about to prove you wrong.

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Just eat it.

In Defense of Letting Your Kids Eat Halloween Candy Until They Puke

We live in the over-information age, and food is no exception. It's not enough to simply eat "healthy" anymore — everything from how our food is produced and manufactured to its genetic makeup comes under constant scrutiny, and it's nearly impossible to suss out what really matters. The food we eat has become a moral and ethical choice, with a heaping serving of shame, too.

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Blacks Belong At "Slower Schools": Supreme Court Justice Scalia Really Just Said That

ICYMI amongst the chorus of outrage over Donald Trump's latest round of racist comments, the Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments this week in Fisher v. the University of Texas, a landmark case challenging the use of race in college admissions –– and Justice Scalia just lost his goddamn mind.

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Frozen Embryos Don't Have Rights, Women Do 

"It's simple, really. If you can muddy the waters enough, and espouse concern for the rights of those poor defenseless embryos enough, what should be a simple statement about the rights of women to make choices for their own bodies becomes, instead, a convoluted argument around viability and fetal stages that puts the presumed "rights" of fetuses on an equal footing with the actual rights of adult women."

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In The Wake Of San Bernardino, Let's Stop Pretending Anything Will Change

When I first heard about the mass shooting in San Bernadino, I wanted to write something meaningful and thought-provoking.

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