Jody Allard

Once upon a time, a band of heavily-armed men decided to take over an Oregon federal building. Because they were white, the Feds didn't shoot them in 12 seconds, and nobody even really did anything about it. (Possibly also because these intrepid defenders of our Constitution decided to seize a bird sanctuary.)

Only highly educated white people seemed willing to consider the idea that their children might learn best without any instruction at all.

Former Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole endorsed Jeb Bush for president today, leaving the world scratching their heads and expressing their surprise that Dole is actually still alive.

". . . it is illegal to sell fetal tissue, but it is perfectly legal to receive compensation for the time and expense involved in collecting, preparing, storing, and transporting tissue for research purposes. This is well-established in the rules and regulations surrounding organ and tissue donation. Similar regulations also make it illegal to sell children, but legal to compensate parents for medical care and expenses incurred during an adoption."

What I do know is what it is like to be the wife of an addict, and those years taught me to claim responsibility for addictions that aren't my own. Thankfully, while that is still my first instinct, I have come far enough now to pause and remind myself that I am no one's caretaker. I am not responsible for my ex-husband's addiction, and I am certainly not responsible for Macklemore's.

The pair has pledged to donate 99 percent of their Facebook shares over the course of their lifetime, which currently amount to about $45 billion. You know, just some pocket change.

Cities throughout the world honored the victims of the Paris attacks over the weekend with flags lowered to half staff, buildings lit up in the colors of the French flag, and candlelight vigils and moments of silence held in their honor.

Is racism the only reason that nine people died in Charleston last week, or is there something more going on here?

In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

Wal-Mart, home to broken dreams, poor fashion choices, and a whole lot of guns.