Jody Allard

As you might imagine, assuming that men and women are exactly the same hasn't worked out too well.

ICYMI, today marks the first official day of the seasonal return of the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte.

Before you run to the bathroom to puke out your human DNA containing hot dog while sobbing over delicious bacon, let me clear up a few misconceptions.

I was born without fingers on my right hand. No one knows why, even now, 36 years later. It just happened, as these things sometimes do.

Obama outlined his new gun control plan this morning and all I have to say is thanks, Obama. It's about goddamn time.

When I first heard about the mass shooting in San Bernadino, I wanted to write something meaningful and thought-provoking.

Image: ABC News

"Ultimately, it doesn't matter much whether Bland killed herself or was murdered. In both cases, she died because she was hauled into custody for a minor offense that didn't really even merit being pulled over to begin with. Maybe her head injury led to uncharacteristic behavior, or maybe the traumatic arrest triggered a severe PTSD episode, or maybe someone flat out killed her. But, in every case, she died because she was in that police cell."

In 1997, Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey made history when they welcomed the first set of surviving septuplets to the world. Now, 18 years later, as the septuplets prepare to leave the nest, the world has only one question: "How the hell did we all get so old?"

It's time to gather around the table with the family members you see only once or twice a year (for good reason) and try to avoid stabbing each other with your forks. #Blessed.