Joni Edelman

Silly me, I thought the darn thing took care of itself. Little did I know I was sorely mistaken and had a vagina complex.

Misogyny is pervasive. And my three boys are living it all.

Our relationship has been a little complicated. I've loved you a lot, and I've loathed you at least that much, but mostly you've just gone unnoticed. Except for those 5 to 7 days every four weeks when you made your presence quite evident, what with the river of life blood and the random excruciating, and from what I can tell, unnecessary, contractions.

The FDA has approved a new drug for banishing double chins . . . it's ACID.

By baby three, well let’s just say things are a little anticlimactic, at least where furnishings are concerned. Hand me down crib. Check.

1. All vaginas are good vaginas.

Oh hey remember that time in 1804 when Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton had an actual duel, with actual guns and Burr shot Hamilton and Hamilton did not shoot Burr. And then the next day Hamilton died.

I said (on TV, to Rachael Ray, so there are a few million witnesses): If you want a bikini body, put a bikini on your body.

As a former Mormon, the Church's revelation that they're going to start “loving and accepting” the LGBT community makes me laugh. Hard.

If you're brave enough to take the DIY Brazilian plunge, these tips are a must-read. As in, tip #6: It hurts, but not more than having a baby. Good to know.