Joni Edelman

So you fed your baby some formula instead of breast milk. His future is not shot. Really. It's not—and The Guilt serves no one.

They will 

I don’t think of myself as fat. Not inside, anyway.

Sleep is everything! It's so much more than just feeling like you can function well. You know that but do you know how to sleep for your dosha type?

Brangelina are splitting up. A sad day for them, a joyful day for single ladies everywhere.

Suffering is America’s favorite thing to do. We starve ourselves to lose weight, and we’re a success story. We don’t sleep, and we’re just getting SO MUCH DONE. We do a thousand things a day and involve our kids in a thousand activities, because somehow, in some perverted way, that makes us successful.

And what’s better than eggs? Eggs direct from the cloaca of your own chicken.

1. All vaginas are good vaginas.

It doesn’t get any more difficult to insult ourselves, regardless of how old we are. It would be ideal if it got easier to respect ourselves, but it generally doesn’t do that either. Every year you age, and every year the aging you looks at the you of the years before and thinks, I can’t believe I thought I was fat/ugly/etc.

My cocktail is wrong. It’s a gin and tonic with only gin. It’s a martini with 10 olives. And I can’t stand the sun. Not today. Not this month.