Joni Edelman

When you push a small human out of your body, things tend to get a little weird.

My cocktail is wrong. It’s a gin and tonic with only gin. It’s a martini with 10 olives. And I can’t stand the sun. Not today. Not this month.

I said (on TV, to Rachael Ray, so there are a few million witnesses): If you want a bikini body, put a bikini on your body.

Oh hey remember that time in 1804 when Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton had an actual duel, with actual guns and Burr shot Hamilton and Hamilton did not shoot Burr. And then the next day Hamilton died.

...I’m going to help you! By “help” I mean “tell you all the things that didn’t work.”

And what’s better than eggs? Eggs direct from the cloaca of your own chicken.

Here’s something that isn’t rocket science either, Stephen Hawking: Diets don’t work.

I did The Today Show, and after that spent 45 minutes talking to Inside Edition. If you're confused, imagine how I felt.

The Interent is ugly sometimes. And raising kids using it doesn't always make it easier.

My husband and I recently traveled together without our kids for the first time . . . in a while. And it was a brand-new ball game.