Joni Edelman

It seems that "at 18 months, almost 60% of toddlers were sleeping for 13 to 14 hours per night." HAHA you're so funny Reuters!

photo credit: Lindy West (instagram), by

The Cabbage Soup Diet, aka The "Torture” Diet. You just put cabbage in water and cook it. And you eat it. All day. It is not good. You will still be hungry, and farting — very smelly, paint-peeling farting.

I'll let you in on a little secret - being thin didn't make me happy, but being "Fat" does! Be fat and happy. Be unapologetically fat.

Sam: The first time you mentioned that you have five kids I was like WHAT THE ACTUAL. FIVE HUMANS. FIVE HUMANS CAME OUT OF YOU. Like, not at the same time, but they came out and like, that sounds painful and scary WHY DID YOU DO THAT??

I’m lucky to be smart, to have an astonishingly good memory. Or maybe I’m lucky to be bipolar.

Good news: they'll probably grow out of it. Bad news: probably not until they are 23.

And what’s better than eggs? Eggs direct from the cloaca of your own chicken.

They will 

I didn't get a lot of mothering as a child, but when I did, it was from her. She taught me how to sew, how to crochet. She taught me how to stand up for myself, to be tough. She taught me how to make fried chicken and fried okra, which I will never make, because it's fucking gross.