Melissa Lovitz

#YouKnowYoureAFeministWhen… It’s the punchline to a good joke. It’s the start of catchy Twitter hashtag. Right?

Because it's true: Practice really does make perfect.

3. Do you masturbate? First, what each person does with or to their body is nobody else’s business. Remember, asexuality is about sexual attraction not necessarily sexual desire or arousal. Simply put, most asexual people can experience sexual arousal; some asexuals masturbate and some do not.

I’ve been struggling to understand if I’m a “bad queer” or a “bad feminist” and sometimes, I think I am!

I don’t identify with the heterosexual norms that have been shoved down my throat and the pathologizing rhetoric that, for most of my life, shrieked "you’re broken," and then I was publicly ostracized by a person who identifies as part of "the community" — the same community I feel connected to.

I’m breaking up with meticulously measuring meals, miles, minutes, etc. I’m worn-out by the fatigue that follows the cycles of fixation. These cycles disguise themselves as control and help me define myself within parameters that feel palpable – things I can wrap my head around.

It’s frustrating that most identities on the asexuality spectrum are qualified by a “lack” of something — desire, intimacy, attraction. I wonder, what might happen for demisexual (or asexual) people if we turn our focus toward what relationships contain, rather than what they’re missing.

I have OCD and I focus incessantly on time as a proxy for order an

Something changed for me when I heard my friend say, “I run so I can eat.” I run so I can cope, so I can feel invincible, so I can think. And so, in a surprising change of events, I challenged them politely and asked, “What would change if, instead, you ate so you can run?”

Oh, you didn’t know? Perhaps it’s because one of the best-kept secrets about adulting is that, most of the time, nobody knows what they’re doing.