Rebekah Kuschmider

In what might be the WTF-iest story in the history of WTF, a woman in Texas is suing the state for wrongly imprisoning her for a month, during which time she was subjected to physical and mental abuse at the hands of guards and other prisoners. What was her crime? Being a rape victim who suffered a mental collapse while testifying.

And here I thought the best way to improve sexual performance was to be attentive to your partner and discuss what feels good and what feels even better. Silly sex-positive me.

Friends, I would like to announce that we have reached Peak Fall. How do I know this? Because I have discovered that there is pumpkin spice flavored vodka.

If you have the time to do so, volunteer to be a poll worker. (This could be especially important if you speak a second language!)

Yesterday, the Republican National Convention kicked off in Cleveland, Ohio. One of my friends predicted it would be a spectacle of epic proportions, involving pyrotechnics, all-female military drills teams reminiscent of Ghadaffi’s personal guard, and jungle cats.

We already know that white supremacists made their appearance by torchlight, guns in plain sight, so we would all see, unmistakably, that racist filth is here and they are not afraid to show their faces. They have showed us how far they are willing to go. But stay strong and vigilant. We must be the better angels of America.

There are bedtime stories, and then there are bed time stories. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge — know what I mean?

Today’s #FurballFriday is brought to you courtesy of my children.

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

It doesn’t even get to the biggest question: when will airlines start offering complimentary cocktails at all price points?