Rebekah Kuschmider

The man who launched 1,000 memes will be leaving government after 43 years of service, first as a Senator from Delaware, then as Obama’s right hand man.

Now, listen. I know that anything that happens in 45 minutes with an aesthetician isn't going to be wizardry. It might not even be noticeable. But I also know that I am not very good at treating myself to nice things that involve sitting down and letting other people take care of me.

So, you’re on your way to work. You’re dragging and want a little pick-me-up before you hit the office.

Ah, the oh-so-common slippery slope idea. If same sex marriages are to be legal, why not other kinds of marriages? Why not polygamy or polyandry or marriage to animals or that lady who married a roller coaster?

Brace yourselves, folks. I may be about to present you with the best news of 2016: ice cream for breakfast can make you smarter!

While the campaign strategy of insulting minorities, women, immigrants, disabled people, and the LGBTQ community may win some electoral votes, it doesn’t make creative people — many of whom are women, minorities, immigrants, disabled, LGBTQ, or allies of the aforementioned — want to be seen on a stage with him.

There are bedtime stories, and then there are bed time stories. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge — know what I mean?

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders and Jeb Bush and so many other candidates were imperfect and problematic in their own ways, but they were also career public servants who knew the risks and the responsibilities of the office. They expected it to be hard. They were ready for it to be hard. We should have elected one of them.

Great news Laydeez! Someone has finally decided to hone in on the scourge of rectangle shaped phones that have been plaguing us all! After all, everyone knows women can’t use rectangles!

“The reason cats are so pissy is they’re God’s perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them” - Da