Rebekah Kuschmider

I am not sure the human race is really good enough to deserve dogs.

Among the trends in the world of unbelievable beauty hacks are the surprising frequency of alternate uses for beauty products.

According to the Daily Mail, that’s the lesson animal experts at the Berlin Zoo have learned from Stan and Ollie, two king penguins who were supposed to be part of the zoo’s penguin breeding program. Instead of mating with female penguins and perpetuating their species as zoo officials hoped they would do, Stan and Ollie pair-bonded with one another.

While the pirates of old were famous for having parrots on their shoulders, Instagram sensation Guirec Soudée, a 24-year-old French man, has spent two years sailing around the world with a bird of a different feather — his pet chicken Monique.

Harvard. The very name brings up images of intellectual superiority. Harvard is associated with Presidents, Supreme Court Justices, and Matt Damon. The best of the best. The smartest of the smart. But also, apparently, the dumbest about rape.

It’s all the fun of getting new stuff without all the hassle of driving, parking, going into a store, experiencing sensory overload, and walking out with a bag full of items that closely resemble items you purchased the last time you decided to go shopping.

Now, if you need me, I’m going to see if I can rig something similar for my dog so she can tell me if she’s barking at real danger or just a cheeky squirrel.

Brace yourselves, folks. I may be about to present you with the best news of 2016: ice cream for breakfast can make you smarter!

There is literally zero precedent for foreign influence on elections in the US — at least to this degree — and no one seems to know what to do with the information.

Finally, and this is very very important because it’s how feminism might go viral among men, you have to remain a feminist even when no women are around. That means, when you’re in a group of all guys and someone say something sexist as fuck, instead of laughing, you have to say “Dude. That was sexist as fuck.”