Rebekah Kuschmider

Lakeland Florida authorities were summoned by an alert citizen who told them, “I've got a dead body over here in the lake. Uh, it looks like an alligator is trying to pull it down under.”

If you’re like me, you’ve probably been getting annual pelvic exams since you were a teenager. You did this because conventional wisdom told you that you needed a Pap smear and a physical exam to keep your vagina and uterus up and running. Also, your doctor probably held your birth control prescription hostage every year until you came in to get checked out.

Persistent women have made America greater, stronger, and just more than the Founding Fathers could have envisioned. Persistent women are holding up half the American sky and NO ONE should question our right to do so.

If you have the time to do so, volunteer to be a poll worker. (This could be especially important if you speak a second language!)

Friends, I would like to announce that we have reached Peak Fall. How do I know this? Because I have discovered that there is pumpkin spice flavored vodka.

While the campaign strategy of insulting minorities, women, immigrants, disabled people, and the LGBTQ community may win some electoral votes, it doesn’t make creative people — many of whom are women, minorities, immigrants, disabled, LGBTQ, or allies of the aforementioned — want to be seen on a stage with him.

Allegedly, Botox in the scrotum can relax the scrotal sack and allow the balls to drop more, making them look more prominent. It also makes the scrotum less wrinkly. The guy in the video was pleased with the results and said his girlfriend was pleased as well. Same with the guy in Cosmo. So, that’s two happy customers who were willing to share their experience with the world wide web.

The phenomenon of people distributing sexual images of videos of others without their consent is horrifying and life-destroying for victims, who often have no legal recourse.

My new goal for this summer is to get my hands on Winecream. I’ll let you know if it’s as magical as I think it will be.

Yesterday, Donald J.