Rebekah Kuschmider

There’s more backstory to all of this, I’m certain, but I’m a 42 year old white lady who listens to show tunes on the treadmill, so hip hop beefs are a little over my head.

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

(Sidebar: anyone who puts baby cats in a bag and tosses them in the trash does not deserve to keep breathing the same air as normal kitty-loving people.)

We salute you, fidget spinner dog. You are a good boy.

Your kitty may be making you kinky.

Yesterday, the big news in food science was that BUTTER ISN’T BAD FOR YOU AFTER ALL! It turns out that butter, like other saturated fats, isn’t the health demon-food that we were once told it was. I think now we’re supposed to do Kermit-arms and dance around rejoicing that we can butter our toast with impunity.

Is there anything better than baby animals? No, there is not. Baby animals are the best.

I’ve gotta say, mind-magic like this would be an exciting addition to the scope of presidential powers.

If you ever wanted proof that the moral arc of the universe always lands in the right place, we have only to consider the fate of internet shock-jo

Good lord, I don’t even know how to start this.