Rebekah Kuschmider

There is a product on the market called The Little Rooster that you tuck into your undies at night, and in the morning, it starts vibrating on your clitoris to wake you up.

A guy named Dave Johnson swears up and down that the Ramsey family staged the whole thing and then went on to live new lives as the Perry family. He cites Katy Perry’s eyebrows as proof. "You know, the eyebrows don't change much on a person," he claims. "You're born with your eyebrows.”

The First Amendment of the Constitution guarantees every citizen the right to petition the government for redress of grievances. Notably, there are no instructions for exactly how to petition the government, and no limits on what kind of grievances for which citizens may seek redress. Which is why it’s totally constitutional and patriotic that a lady lit into Florida Governor Rick Scott in a Starbucks.

You could probably look on the internet and find people whining about the changes, but I’m in too good a mood about seeing women and minorities on my money to go looking for bigots and their rainy damn parades.

BOOM, GOP. Try talking smack about the guy who got the death penalty for homegrown terrorist, Timothy McVeigh. Dare ya!

Earlier this week, the Trump administration decided that the most pressing issue on their plates is where school children pee.

We all need a little magic sometimes.

This year, as a special treat from Mother Nature, who appears to be pro-choice, there will be a blizzard bearing down on DC as the marchers do their anti-choice thing. Now, I’m a long time DC area resident. I’ve seen a lot of these marches, and there are a few things I know:

We are living in challenging times, my friends. There’s tension around the globe, politics in our country are beyond bizarre, and most of my friends are feeling really sad about a character who died on Game of Thrones the other night. But there is reason for hope! And that reason has teeny tiny hooves, big ears, and two nanny dogs.

Woohoo! Sex is good for your brain! IT’S SCIENCE!