Rebekah Kuschmider

I got a puppy last fall, and I’ve spent about a zillion dollars on different things for her to chew. She really likes bully sticks, which are dehydrated bull penises. It cracks me up every time I give one to her and say, “Here. Go eat a dick.”

Is there anything better than baby animals? No, there is not. Baby animals are the best.

If Doritos wanted to change something, I’d say they should make their chips slightly smaller so the edges don’t scrape the roof of your mouth when you bite into them. That’s all.

The government of

One thing that is absolutely true is that Donald Trump insults everyone. He’s been loser-ing and dummy-ing his way across the slate of GOP presidential hopefuls for months now. It’s actually jaw-droppingly awful, because it’s pretty evident that he insults EVERYONE. He can’t pull it together enough to be polite under any circumstance, which means he would turn a state dinner into a Real Housewives-style table-turning circus. In fact, I could see him calling Netanyahu a “prostitution whore” and that terrifies me.

I want to know how much yoga a person would have to do to be able to vote with their vagina. And kegels. Sooooo many kegels.

Nail polish maker Orly has teamed up with Muslim Girl, a great lifestyle and current affairs website started by a young Muslim woman, to develop a line of breathable nail polishes that allow water and oxygen to penetrate the lacquer. The new line, called #HalalPaint, will debut this summer.

We already know that white supremacists made their appearance by torchlight, guns in plain sight, so we would all see, unmistakably, that racist filth is here and they are not afraid to show their faces. They have showed us how far they are willing to go. But stay strong and vigilant. We must be the better angels of America.

After The Attacks In Orlando, Here Is How You Can Actually Help

Disney is a pretty LGBTQ-friendly company. They hire LGBTQ people, offer them good benefits, and refuse to make movies in states that don’t treat LGBTQ folks right. The only thing they haven’t done yet is make any major characters in their movies gay. There was that one scene in Frozen where Oaken (the guy with the trading post) gestured to his family and it appeared that his partner was also a guy, so that was cool. But gay princes or princesses? Not yet.