Rebekah Kuschmider

For a long time, there was this idea floating around that same-sex couples shouldn’t be parents because it would be bad for the kids.

If you answered can, please go to Houston. People need your help. Hurricane Harvey is a catastrophic situation.

So, I got up on Saturday morning, got myself a cup of coffee, opened Facebook and was almost immediately rewarded with a live image of a giraffe in

What trans people are — unfortunately — is a handy punching bag for a wildly unpopular president. This man with his approval rating hovering under 40%, with his family under scrutiny for shady financial and political dealings, with his entire policy agenda — such as it is, considering he knows fuckall about policy — in jeopardy due to grassroots opposition to it, this man is flailing around looking for a distraction.

Pregnancy is 40 weeks along. Everyone knows that. Except we’re finding out that maybe it isn’t 40 weeks. It might only be 38 weeks. Or 43 weeks. Or maybe 42 weeks. You see, new research has find out out that length of pregnancy varies and due dates are LIES, ALL LIES.

Aside from the physical and psychological toll these injuries take, they also leave many combat veterans unable to have children without medical assistance. The problem becomes even more complicated when they discover that the VA doesn’t cover IVF.

I got a puppy last fall, and I’ve spent about a zillion dollars on different things for her to chew. She really likes bully sticks, which are dehydrated bull penises. It cracks me up every time I give one to her and say, “Here. Go eat a dick.”

There are a lot of legitimate reasons to get stuck at work. Last minute conference calls. Emergency orders coming in that need fulfillment.

If you’re lucky enough to live near Willamette Valley in Oregon, you can get a dose of outdoor yoga with cute little goats at No Regrets Farm.

You can’t deal either, can you? Of course you can’t. So listen: let’s stop talking about this scum-sucking-bottom-feeder and focus on something happy. Like a puppy finding a home and a job.