Rebekah Kuschmider

Brace yourselves, folks. I may be about to present you with the best news of 2016: ice cream for breakfast can make you smarter!

Kids are now colluding with the clowns. This. Is. Serious.

Your body is smart as hell and it does not want you to die. If you start depriving it of fuel, it will slow down the rate at which you burn fuel and step up the desire to provide it with more fuel. In others words, you’ll burn fewer calories and you’ll be hungry all the time.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably been getting annual pelvic exams since you were a teenager. You did this because conventional wisdom told you that you needed a Pap smear and a physical exam to keep your vagina and uterus up and running. Also, your doctor probably held your birth control prescription hostage every year until you came in to get checked out.

Now, if you need me, I’m going to see if I can rig something similar for my dog so she can tell me if she’s barking at real danger or just a cheeky squirrel.

Today in People Being Awesome To Other People, over 300 union plumbers headed to Flint, MI over the weekend to do their part in making the water safe for residents.

Attendees of the Sanders event stood along the street when Clinton’s motorcade arrived and threw 1,000 $1 bills at her vehicle. Twitter was alight with notices about “making it rain” on Hillary’s car. I have questions.

One hopes that the tweet was composed by a 19-year-old intern who thought it would make his frat buddies laugh when he goes back for the fall semester. One also hopes that an adult sent said intern packing the minute he clicked “tweet.”

So we have a new Justice on the Supreme Court.

So, I got up on Saturday morning, got myself a cup of coffee, opened Facebook and was almost immediately rewarded with a live image of a giraffe in