Rebekah Kuschmider

Maybe grown-ups do their best physical work in a spin class with an instructor telling us when to stand up and when to sit down, but kids get enough of that kind of structure in the classroom. What they really need is more time to do their own thing.

If you happen to be on the University of Texas, Austin campus on Wednesday, August 24th, be prepared to rock out with your cock out. Well, your dildo out.

Is it because whoopee is more fun when there’s less chance that your orgasm will result in a diaper blow-out 40 weeks later?

You all know what that means, right? Matching “Thank you for being a friend” t-shirts and “Picture it! Sicily, 1932!” tote bags for everyone! Wheeee! Oh, and cheesecake. So much cheesecake!

As if you needed another reason to love England’s Prince William, he just became the first member of the Royal Family to appear on the cover of an LGBT publication!

When I saw the trending hashtag #DemocraticWhores, I got really excited, thinking maybe Democrats were all strutting around today in those sensational boots Julia Roberts wore way back in Pretty Woman. Nancy Pelosi could rock those boots, don’t you think?

While the pirates of old were famous for having parrots on their shoulders, Instagram sensation Guirec Soudée, a 24-year-old French man, has spent two years sailing around the world with a bird of a different feather — his pet chicken Monique.

“I think the only card she has is the woman's card. She has nothing else going. Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she would get five percent of the vote.” I’m gonna need someone to hold my earrings here.

What trans people are — unfortunately — is a handy punching bag for a wildly unpopular president. This man with his approval rating hovering under 40%, with his family under scrutiny for shady financial and political dealings, with his entire policy agenda — such as it is, considering he knows fuckall about policy — in jeopardy due to grassroots opposition to it, this man is flailing around looking for a distraction.

Trump has been increasingly infuriated over the Russia investigation overseen by Comey and his agency. He even screams at the TV when he sees reporting on it. That explains his idea of demanding cover for firing the FBI director.