Rebekah Kuschmider

“I think the only card she has is the woman's card. She has nothing else going. Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she would get five percent of the vote.” I’m gonna need someone to hold my earrings here.

So, who is more actively feminist this week? Ivanka, who can’t articulate a White House policy for bettering the lives of women? Or Beyoncé, who is shelling out big bucks to better the lives of women?

So far, April is mainly just walking around and not giving birth, which is probably annoying to poor April. There’s nothing quite like the end of pregnancy, when you just want to be done with it and get to the part where you have a baby. Maybe it’s different for giraffes, but that’s sure how I felt when I was pregnant.

According to parents, the children were on a field trip to the botanical garden when they met Fiorina at the Koi pond. The former HP CEO then gave them campaign stickers and led them off to another room, where she arranged them as pro-life set dressing.

Call me when Starbucks is serving a drink laced with cyanide and then I’ll join you in outrage.

Today is National Wine D

Hey, Potterheads! Have you preordered your copy of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child yet? Or bought tickets to see it in London? Does the wait for new Potter installments seem interminable? Well, fear not, wizards and muggles! There is magic afoot, and it’s happening right here on the shores of the US of A!

Like Gwyneth, I’m a mom of two kids, so I’m kind of hung up on the fact that she has the time to take a whole bath every night. I usually only manage to squeeze in a prison shower after the kids are in bed and before I collapse, so this brush-and-bathe routine is really amazing to me.

We have a President musing about why the Civil War started, considering meetings with murderous despots, and preparing to sign anti-LGBTQ orders. How much are we supposed to be able to take? Because I don’t think I want to read the news any more. But in between fits of despair, we have the internet to provide us with animal videos.

Your body is smart as hell and it does not want you to die. If you start depriving it of fuel, it will slow down the rate at which you burn fuel and step up the desire to provide it with more fuel. In others words, you’ll burn fewer calories and you’ll be hungry all the time.