Rebekah Kuschmider

We interrupt this dumpster fire that is the United States of America in 2017 to bring you what is probably the most horrifying news in the history

Massachusetts couple Lauri and Cari Ryding came home from vacation to find their porch a mess. Someone had egged their house. They were targeted because they’re gay — the vandals made their hate apparent by also stealing the Ryding’s rainbow flag.

No mention is made of what happens should a teen be estranged from one parent, should a teen be in a single-parent family, if there are geographic distances between a teen and a parent, and did I mention that abortions are nobody’s beeswax? Yeah.

Nail polish maker Orly has teamed up with Muslim Girl, a great lifestyle and current affairs website started by a young Muslim woman, to develop a line of breathable nail polishes that allow water and oxygen to penetrate the lacquer. The new line, called #HalalPaint, will debut this summer.

ERMEHGERD! HERRY PERTTER!!!!!!!!!!

Why are there so many politicians who will say they want more prosperity for works but won’t directly force employers to raise wages?

The government of

The race itself was anti-climactic because it wasn’t a race. It was basically two heats of a race. First, scientists convinced a wild great white to chase a hunk of fake seal meat for 100 meters so they could time it. Then Phelps donned a specially designed shark suit and swam the exact same route.

If you happen to be on the University of Texas, Austin campus on Wednesday, August 24th, be prepared to rock out with your cock out. Well, your dildo out.

In a move that proves karma to be the Most Righteous of All Bitches, the makers of those “scandalous” Planned Parenthood videos have been brought up on charges in connection with their operation.