Rebekah Kuschmider

See, sex requires everyone in the room be on board for whatever is happening. Some people like to think that they’re so in tune with their partner that they know what they can do and what they can’t do, but that’s a dangerous supposition. At any moment during a sexual encounter, something can change. Consent can be withdrawn.

Yesterday, in the year 2016, the first Black woman Attorney General of the United States of America handed a White, conservative Southern governor his ass on live TV. And it was splendid.

Yes. That’s right. Texas passed laws to allegedly make abortion safer when abortion is already nearly perfectly safe. Our good friend Justice Breyer honed in on this yesterday, when he asked the lawyer defending the law how often Texas patients are transferred from abortion provider to hospital.

One hopes that the tweet was composed by a 19-year-old intern who thought it would make his frat buddies laugh when he goes back for the fall semester. One also hopes that an adult sent said intern packing the minute he clicked “tweet.”

Today we have kind of a head scratcher of a story out of Austin, Texas.

Follow these tips and you will look well-rested, you will not have camel toe, your underwire won’t poke you in the armpit, your hair will smell nice, your knuckles might not crack in the cold weather, and you will have enough money leftover for icing and sprinkles for the next absurd elementary school party. Huzzah!

“You know, in my next life, when I come back, I want to be someone in the WTA because they ride on the coattails of the men. They don't make any decisions, and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I'd go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born because they have carried this sport. They really have.”

In a move that proves karma to be the Most Righteous of All Bitches, the makers of those “scandalous” Planned Parenthood videos have been brought up on charges in connection with their operation.

In the latest chapter of “Celebrities Drink What Now?,” Glamour magazine is reporting that Kourtney Kardashian starts her day with a teaspoon of melted ghee.

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.