Rebekah Kuschmider

“The reason cats are so pissy is they’re God’s perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them” - Da

Erin O'Flaherty, Miss Missouri, is the first openly gay Miss America contestant.

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

According to reports today, O’Reilly has reached his lifetime limit on harassing women at FoxNews and will lose his cable show in the process.

One thing that is absolutely true is that Donald Trump insults everyone. He’s been loser-ing and dummy-ing his way across the slate of GOP presidential hopefuls for months now. It’s actually jaw-droppingly awful, because it’s pretty evident that he insults EVERYONE. He can’t pull it together enough to be polite under any circumstance, which means he would turn a state dinner into a Real Housewives-style table-turning circus. In fact, I could see him calling Netanyahu a “prostitution whore” and that terrifies me.

A judge in Oklahoma dismissed a case involving sexual assault of a drunk 16 year old girl. Allegedly, the girl was so intoxicated that she had to be carried to the boy’s car and witnesses say she was in and out of consciousness in the car. She was later brought to a family member’s home, still unconscious. The family member had her taken to the hospital where her blood alcohol level was tested at .34 and DNA from the boy was found around her mouth and on the back of her leg.

As a political philosophy, feminism proposes that women are entitled to all the same rights as men under the law. There was a time when this was a radical notion and it required a whole lot of hard work to make certain crucial elements of that possible. Such as a the right of women to vote. Or to own property. Or to obtain divorce. Or sign contracts. Or use birth control.

If Doritos wanted to change something, I’d say they should make their chips slightly smaller so the edges don’t scrape the roof of your mouth when you bite into them. That’s all.

Universal Standard's co-founder Alexandra Waldman says she was inspired by her own misadventures in shopping for larger sizes, which resulted in “a hodgepodge look, without the ability to express your own style.”

The news cycle feels like a roller coaster ride these days. We’re all sitting in this little car, plunging up and down without any control over anything. But at least we have Dan Rather along for the ride.