Rebekah Kuschmider

It makes us feel better to say “My kid would never…” but you know what? Any kid might. They run into the street, they climb too high in trees, they put things they find on the ground in their mouths — and it all happens in a second, while a parent’s head is turned.

Yesterday, Old Navy sent out a tweet to alert us all to a sale. Woohoo! Cheap summer clothes! Everyone likes cheap clothes! Right?

Your kitty may be making you kinky.

Your body is smart as hell and it does not want you to die. If you start depriving it of fuel, it will slow down the rate at which you burn fuel and step up the desire to provide it with more fuel. In others words, you’ll burn fewer calories and you’ll be hungry all the time.

A guy named Dave Johnson swears up and down that the Ramsey family staged the whole thing and then went on to live new lives as the Perry family. He cites Katy Perry’s eyebrows as proof. "You know, the eyebrows don't change much on a person," he claims. "You're born with your eyebrows.”

Apple CEO Tim Cook has taken to the internet to tell the world the company will not be complying with FBI requests to hack the San Bernardino shooters’ phones.

Ask any woman you know, and she can tell you a story about being taunted, propositioned, followed, grabbed, or otherwise harassed by strangers simply because she had the nerve to have a female body and be within their line of vision.

Allegedly, Botox in the scrotum can relax the scrotal sack and allow the balls to drop more, making them look more prominent. It also makes the scrotum less wrinkly. The guy in the video was pleased with the results and said his girlfriend was pleased as well. Same with the guy in Cosmo. So, that’s two happy customers who were willing to share their experience with the world wide web.

We already know that white supremacists made their appearance by torchlight, guns in plain sight, so we would all see, unmistakably, that racist filth is here and they are not afraid to show their faces. They have showed us how far they are willing to go. But stay strong and vigilant. We must be the better angels of America.

If you are a dog or a cat and have sensitive hearing and a limited understanding of patriotism, fireworks seem like an assault. For all your dog knows, the world is actually ending in a blaze of colorful sparkles and loud explosions.