Rebekah Kuschmider

Have you ever been in Denver or Portland or Seattle and wanted to buy some weed but didn’t want the hassle of going from weed shop to weed shop to

Would a llama really take out a lynx? The Lynx Trust says yes, but sheep farmers remain unconvinced. While no ruling has been made on lynx or llama introduction, the winner of this battle royale may end up being the sheep that fuel the local economy and many a Sunday dinner.

There’s another entrepreneur out there who wants to teach us to masturbate better, too. And they’re ready to send smart-tech into our vaginas to make it happen.

I can’t speak for all feminists but I don’t have any guns for two reasons. First, I don’t hunt because I don’t want to eat any of the kinds of meat one can shoot in my region. Second, I have little kids. I know some people think having a gun around is a great way to protect little kids from potential threats but I see them as threats in and of themselves.

I’ve never read the Quran or attended a Mosque, but I’m pretty certain that if anyone had the chance to speak directly with the god Allah or the Prophet Muhammad, they would not be saying “Bitches be crazy, yo. Keep them bitches down.”

Sexual orientation is not a lifestyle and gay people are not a monolith. Much as women are all individuals with different wants, needs, and preferences, so are gay people, bi people, asexual people, polyamorous people, and pansexual people (also people who present gender differently that the usual male/female binary but gender identity is a different thing than sexual orientation and will likely be the subject of a whole different essay).

“Wait,” you’re saying. “Was that ever a question? How many votes are we supposed to get? I only get one. Is there a BOGO sale on votes somewhere? Why is this before the Supreme Court at all?”

We all spoil our pets, right? I’m certainly guilty of it. My dog’s favorite things are bully sticks, which are literally dried bull penises. They cost about $1 a pop and that’s kind of splurge for an animal who can amuse herself by licking her own butt.

Far from being the kind of monsters and predators some groups would have you believe, trans people are simply human beings who have to alter their bodies to align them with their internal gender identity. This takes numerous forms and varies from person to person.

The manatees were engaged in a little mutual oral pleasure — or, as the kids call it, 69. Way to go, manatees!