Rebekah Kuschmider

Maybe grown-ups do their best physical work in a spin class with an instructor telling us when to stand up and when to sit down, but kids get enough of that kind of structure in the classroom. What they really need is more time to do their own thing.

With four and a half days left before this election ends once and for all, I am probably not alone in my obsession with polls. And I’m probably not the first to admit that this is not a healthy way to be living.

(Sidebar: anyone who puts baby cats in a bag and tosses them in the trash does not deserve to keep breathing the same air as normal kitty-loving people.)

Good news, marijuana smokers! Scientists have recently discovered that everyone’s favorite weed is not actually associated with lower IQ scores!

In the midst of a week that’s been rife with sadness and confusion, I am pleased to present to you a story that is unequivocally happy. A fairy tale ending, if you will.

The Russian meddling, the Kremlin favoring his father, the offer to provide information with material value to the Trump campaign. Did Donald Trump Jr. know it was illegal? I dunno. But he went ahead and did it all anyway.

The big additions are in the food category, where we’ll see the much-longed-for bacon finally appear, along with clinking champagne glasses and a potato. Sounds like a meal to me!

The FDA has announced that Mibelas 24 Fe pills, made by Lupin Pharmaceuticals, is under recall due to packaging errors that mixed up the active pills and the placebos. In the case of the recalled lot, the packets have 24 active pills, four placebo pills, then four more placebo pills. That’s too many days without the active pills and your body — your pregnancy risk just got a WHOLE LOT HIGHER.

“You know, in my next life, when I come back, I want to be someone in the WTA because they ride on the coattails of the men. They don't make any decisions, and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I'd go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born because they have carried this sport. They really have.”

When I need a moment to feel better about everything around me, I type “dogs” into the search field of my news app and wait for the magic to happen. Dogs always come through, and today is no different.