Rebekah Kuschmider

As Americans, we all believe staunchly in freedom of speech. That fundamental concept in the American experiment has led to artistic masterworks like A Streetcar Named Desire, world-changing orators like Martin Luther King Jr, and entirely problematic stuff like everything that comes out of Sarah Palin’s mouth.

The special counsel is former FBI director Robert Mueller. The same FBI director who, under President George W. Bush, threatened to quit rather than unconstitutionally wiretap U.S. citizens without a warrant. This is a by-the-book, law and order kind of guy. And his chief ally within the Department of Justice at that moment? James Comey.

Yes, you read that right. Donkey. Milk.

In what might be the WTF-iest story in the history of WTF, a woman in Texas is suing the state for wrongly imprisoning her for a month, during which time she was subjected to physical and mental abuse at the hands of guards and other prisoners. What was her crime? Being a rape victim who suffered a mental collapse while testifying.

Women are a big topic in politics. Whether you’re the first viable female presidential candidate, stumping for paid parental leave, campaigning on reducing access to abortion, or — if you're Donald Trump — talking about female reporters being on their period, the topic of women is inescapable on the campaign trail. You can't win an election without women. Well, women voters.

But can you win an election without any women on your senior staff?

Good news, marijuana smokers! Scientists have recently discovered that everyone’s favorite weed is not actually associated with lower IQ scores!

I don’t want to know what it looks like. I want to know about it.

It’s all the fun of getting new stuff without all the hassle of driving, parking, going into a store, experiencing sensory overload, and walking out with a bag full of items that closely resemble items you purchased the last time you decided to go shopping.

Musician Kid Rock has announced that he intends to run for the Senate as a Republican in Michigan. Athlete and reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner has teased about a run as a Republican in California. Neither would-be candidate has filed the official candidacy paperwork as of this time. I hope they don’t. At least not until they learn something about governance.

Ok, Lemonade Nation (LemoNation?). I’m stuck on Becky With the Good Hair. I can’t stop reading theories about who it might be. Is it Rachel Roy? It’s not Rachael Ray. Maybe it’s Rita Ora? It can’t be Iggy Azalea, though this piece called her Darth Becky and it’s so good. Is it Rihanna? WHO IS BECKY?