Tamarah Rockwood

Tamarah Rockwood

Bio

Tamarah Rockwood is a stay-at-home, homeschooling, beer drinking, bourbon loving, roller skating, forest-dwelling mother of 5.  She met her husband in high school, and they have been getting away with unlimited snogging and being stupidly happy together for over 20 years.  Tamarah has a degree in American & British Literature, published a book of poetry (“Petals of Magnolia”), which has gone on to win zero national awards, and been an in-house editor for small poetry journals, worked in real estate (yuck), art galleries (yay!), substitute teaching and finally pole-vaulting into SAHM-hood without even spilling her drink.  In her free time she writes for her blog, The Platypus Directive, as well as XOJane and Featured Blogs on BlogHer, thinking about redefining motherhood, figuring out what it means to be a woman, and posting bourbon reviews.  Hey, somebody’s gotta do it.  

Tamarah Rockwood Articles

5 Parenting Conversations I Am So Done With

"If I am holding an amber beer in my hand, I am not talking about naptimes. If I hear shop from your lips, I am ordering you three more martinis and getting you shitfaced..."

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Unfriending My Old Friend, Guilt

I don’t like my old friend Guilt very much. We are not BFFs. She smells funny, and I don’t appreciate her company.

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Entitled coffee, at its finest

How My Programmable Coffee Pot Revealed My Entitled, Jerk Self

The last episode of “MyCoffeePot & Me” aired 2 years ago when I woke up to an unresponsive pot.

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Use your words...really.

6 Things Your Kids Need To Hear You Say

The truth is, my kids are not going to grow a deeper character thanks to perfect floors. Granted, it will make life easier for me, no doubt: there are few things that make my stomach drop than walking into a room that I just cleaned, and seeing a spoonful of peanut butter just sitting on the floor (I have an accomplished toddler). Peanut butter on the floor, or on the counter, or on the tablecloth — or anywhere other than on a piece of bread — is frustrating.

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The Donald. (Credit: Gage Skidmore)

5 Things That Might Be More Disgusting Than Donald Trump

"I just can’t see Donald Trump on the ballot as being the most disgusting thing in the world. Right? I mean, there must be things out there that are actually more disgusting than Donald Trump."

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Back to (home)school.

Back-To-School Separation Anxiety: Homeschool Edition

I know sending kids to school is the most normal thing on earth. I know they are going to do great, and I know they are going to flourish. And I know it is only twice a week, and I am still the teacher the rest of the time.

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Old guy, younger woman. Nonsense.

37 Is Too Old To Date, Says Hollywood

I just wonder. . . if my daughter came home one day and said she couldn’t have a job because she was too old, how would that be right?

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Jennifer Affleck and Ben Garner

JenBen Are Getting Divorced And I Don't Know What Is Real Anymore

"So, Hollywood's perfect couple is not just having a conscious uncoupling ... they are going the traditional route with a full divorce."

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Why Jane Jetson Had The Future Figured Out

And there are some things missing in my life. Things I was promised on The Jetsons, by Jane Jetson herself. Man, I watched that show and saw the future! That’s where we were headed, my friends. Flying cars were part of the package of the future.

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help. back-to-school anxiety.

I'm Falling Off A Cliff, And Other Back-To-School Nightmares

When I was in school, we always started after Labor Day. When I first started homeschooling, it was also around Labor Day. Then, some higher-ups decided to start school before Labor Day, and from there, the date kept getting pushed back until school was starting in the middle of August; but then we moved again, and the first day of school is kind of after Labor Day, except some classes began before Labor Day.

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