There’s more to sexual pleasure than just orgasm.
Just kidding; no there’s not.
JUST KIDDING; yes there is.
It’s easy to forget because everyone is all about the almighty O, but sexual pleasure doesn’t begin and end in a thrashing, seizure-like situation. (Well, sometimes it does, but also sometimes it doesn’t.)
Four sentences in and I’m getting bothered.
(By bothered I mean HORNY.)
Viva La Vagina Week 2 was all about “healing and awakening the vagina through physical and visualization practices,” including the G (spot, that is). And while I know I have one, and I’ve felt it, I’d be a liar if I told you I ever associated it with pleasure until like a year ago. That’s when I was doing some Very Scholarly Research for an article about female ejaculation and one of my readers was kind of enough to give me a play-by-play of hers.
Boy, did I learn Some Things.
Whether you think woman can squirt their own version of lady-jizz like a geyser, or if you’re in the “that’s definitely pee” camp, the undeniable truth is all that happens from G-spot stimulation. And so it was, at age 41, that I had my very first G-spot orgasm.
I gave it to myself and it took… a while. This is normal. I guess up to 45 minutes even.
Once I realized that this is A Thing that I Can Do Myself, I got maybe a wee obsessed.
It’s so strange because I was a totally over-sexualized child — I saw porn at a really unbelievably young age and had an incredibly (and openly) promiscuous mother — but I have a lot of internalized shame around sex. I’m uncovering all of this now. Not only through this class, but along with some deeper investigation of my Complex PTSD. I’m peeling back a lot of layers of shame around my body — especially when it comes to pleasure.
So, finding my G-spot and spending time with it was unexpectedly transformative. Then I went about my life and things happened — I had a bout of depression, I was traveling, my husband and I were fighting so I wasn't thinking about sex at all, and so on — and I sort of forgot about my G-spot all over again.
Week 2 of Viva la Vagina kicked off with Going Inside (yes, the vagina), followed by exploring the use of breath and sounds (open throat = open yoni y’all — I learned that one from Ina May Gaskin). Then it was the practice of Yoni Massage (and the hunt for the G). After that, we did a cervical awakening (which I skipped because I blessedly have no cervix since my uterus literally tried to murder me).
By mid-week, I was tired from all the vaginal introspection, but I soldiered on to the womb clearing and then circled back round to the Yoni Massage because it’s my life and I do what I want.
As I mentioned in Week 1, all of the Yoni Focus really brings the Yoni in focus, if you get what I’m saying.
(What I'm saying is IT MAKES ME HORNY.)
How can you NOT be thinking about sex when you’re thinking about your vagina for any amount of focused time?
So I invited my husband inside.
With his hand.
To find my G-spot.
This probably doesn’t seem revolutionary at all to many (most?) of you but please refer to previous statement about internalized shame.
Let’s just say, he found it. The fact that I never asked him to even look before taking this class isn’t the point. The point is, hallelujah, it has been found.
Because I have no sense of privacy or shame, I asked him if he wanted to give me a quote for this article.
He’s a good sport.
G-spot orgasm that is partner provided I think might even be better than one self-given.
I want to tell you how to have a G-spot orgasm (just in case you were also an over-sexualized child who has internalized shame) because you DESERVE IT, but you don’t need me. The Internet can do this far better than I ever could. Enter, Cosmo. Prefer a video? Here’s a good one. ENJOY!
Join me next week for some clitoral action!