Body Positive

After years and years of fatphobia-induced body dysmorphia, it’s hard to actually just see my body with anything approaching objectivity. But when I finally looked at the photos of myself in my underwear, I knew there was nothing that fatphobia or my inner asshole could do to take away the beauty and the magic that was right before my eyes.

I love portraying people when they are not playing roles, when they are just being themselves. That’s when they truly are at their most beautiful. So I need to know a little bit about them, to connect on some level with their stories. Once that happens, everything else flows.

With incredible women, femmes, and other folks having more access to creating music, we’re literally at the height of woman-, femme-, and body-positive music so far. The internet allows these babes and their art to be seen and heard. Why not continue to celebrate that with these awesome body positive tracks?

So, women, I’m talking to you — give yourself permission to love every inch of you. Honor your body, and meet it where it is. To those of you who’ve given birth: you’re forever changed. Relinquish the idea that you need to get your body back to looking the way it did before your baby was born.

Over the years, I’ve created an intricate system of rules that keep my calves safely hidden from judging eyes, especially in the summer when shorts and sundresses rule. From where I stand today, I can’t imagine myself becoming the kind of woman who could walk confidently to the subway, in a knee-length skirt, leaving her bulging calves unapologetically exposed for the world to see. But a year ago, I wouldn't have dared to write publicly about my calves. So, I consider this a small yet mighty first step, in the right direction, of hopefully many more to come.

Truthfully, I really want to be able to walk into every new interaction with the hope — the expectation — that everyone knows how to treat everyone else with full humanity. But the culture’s gonna have to do a lot better before I emotionally disarm. Until then, it’s probably a good idea to expect pursed lips and side eye from me.

"My beautiful, kind, big-hearted daughter was denied entry to a popular club in NYC called One Oak last night because, as they put it ,'they don't like girls with love handles.' They only allow a particular type of girl into this place."

I don’t remember being particularly confident about my body, I do remember thinking that I should look confident, even if I hated my thighs.