divorce

In the past four months, I’ve undergone a veritable dating hurricane. I ran out on my 10-month-old marriage in August. I texted my decision and departure to my closest friends, live-tweeted my flight from upstate New York to the New Hampshire seacoast, and have written extensively and publicly about separation, my estranged husband, and the terrors of emotional pain ever since.

It was sometime just before midnight in the middle of the week, when I took to Google to see if I could send a big chunk of sh*t to my husband.

For me and my wife, the marital bliss ended on our honeymoon. Within a few days of walking down the aisle, we both started to doubt our marriage would last.

When I think back, I don’t even remember getting engaged. What girl forgets that?

"So, Hollywood's perfect couple is not just having a conscious uncoupling ... they are going the traditional route with a full divorce."

I’m not divorced yet. I have emotional work to do before loving again, and I would like time alone to be a mom, remember my strengths, and to find my new path. But, I remember how it feels to be deeply loved, that I deserve love, and above all, can have it as who I am — all of me.

I would have thought getting married and divorced would give me some kind of insight into marriage, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned through it all is that humans are terrible at predicting how we will feel, and I’m no exception.

I would have thought getting married and divorced would give me some kind of insight into marriage, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned through it all is that humans are terrible at predicting how we will feel, and I’m no exception.