Healing

What exactly is it that gives a date so much power?  Image: Adina Voicu/Pixabay.

Commemorating The Anniversary Of My Trauma Helped Me Heal From It

March is always an awful month for me. In Cape Town — my home town — March marks the beginning of autumn. Summer’s exhilarating heat comes to a sobering end. Sweltering afternoons and nights spent around the fire ominously disappear, soon to be replaced by gusts of winds and air so cold it literally hurts your face.

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Most of the time I can't be present no matter how hard I try: not at the beach, not at a concert I've been eagerly anticipating, not with friends or family. It's frustrating at best. Image: Unsplash, Francisco Moreno

It's Hard To 'Live In The Moment' When You Dissociate

Supposedly, the happiest people are living in the moment, seizing the day, and generally living like it's their last day on earth. It all sounds inspired, wonderful, and profound. And simple. Who wouldn't be on board? Me, that's who. And somehow I suspect I'm not alone.

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Over the years... I’ve realized that my father’s sentiments echo those of the judge, the father, and the rapist. Image: Thinkstock.

The Stanford Rape Case, My Father, And Collective Forgiveness

Much has already been said about the way the Stanford swimmer's privilege has insulated him from consequence, about the ever-pervasive victim blaming in public discourse, and about the inadequacy of the criminal justice system. But in so many of these conversations, in our rage against the rape culture machine, we forget the survivors — the most important people in the fight against sexual violence.

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Recovery from trauma is a journey. Image: Rocksana Rocksana/Unsplash.

Trauma Broke Me Into Parts, But I Found Wholeness Through IFS Therapy

Individual “parts” of my system [...] have become dysfunctional as a result of trauma. Some of these parts are stuck as young children or teenagers, while others carry individual emotions like worry or anger. They’re all still parts of my whole — not full-fledged personalities as in dissociative identity disorder — but they are separate enough to take on a life of their own to protect me from harm.

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It is my hope that we eradicate these condescending phrases and develop a better system to help survivors. Image: Thinkstock.

4 Things You Should Never Say To A Sexual Assault Survivor

Survivors need support, but often, when they reach out, they are met with responses that only cause further trauma. The impact of these responses is immense.

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I feared that I’d remain a traumatized victim, but somehow, I had become a liberated survivor. Image: Thinkstock.

Masturbation Helped Me Heal From Sexual Assault

[CN: sexual assault] It happened to my mom, three of my best friends, and then it finally happened to me. Like so many women, I never imagined I’d face such a terrible violation, let alone that I would have to struggle to recover.

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I’ve never felt so clean. Image: Thinkstock.

How I Discovered Healing And Self-Care By Cleaning Out My Old Crap

I was drowning in stuff, and felt constantly tired — even though I’d made an art out of trading in my old clothes at secondhand stores, minimizing expenses, and sharing apartments with strangers. Something felt fiscally oppressive despite the fact that I’ve never owned a house, a car, or anything larger than my bed.

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I was just a naïve kid who didn't understand what was happening.

I Was Sexually Abused By A Teacher — And I'm Still Paying For It. Literally.

I feel I got the short end of the stick because of emotional and financial costs I am still paying for what he did — the grooming, the mind games, the violation of my body and my agency, the disregard for my mental and physical well-being, the purposeful isolation from friends and family. I have already spent a decade in therapy trying to find solid ground, struggling to revive even a shadow of the person I used to be.

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