Denarii Monroe

Bio

Denarii (rhymes with “canary”) is an aspiring screenwriter, freelance writer, and a weirdo. She's a Rutgers University alum and a two-year Pace University dropout; she studied English and Adolescent Education, respectively. She's written for BlogHer, Black Girl Dangerous, and Everyday Feminism. Follow her on Facebook, find her on Twitter and Instagram ([at]writersdelite). Mad selfies, pictures of her dog named Dog, raving about Matthew Gray Gubler, and ranting (or retweeting) about the writing process and racist, ableist, classist, fat-antagonistic heteropatriachary. She loves Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as well as soul food, red wine, cooking and baking, and the blues. Hanson is her favorite band ever (yes, that Hanson).

Denarii Monroe Articles

"I spent quite a few of my preteen and early teen years enjoying taking pictures. But because of the combination of racism, fat antagonism, and lookism, I wasn’t always comfortable getting in front of the camera." Image: Thinkstock

The Right To Be Ugly: How Lookism Affects My Ability To Be Carefree

[W]hy must the acknowledgment of my beauty be predicated on how well and how often I contort to attempt to fit into some kind of ideal? Why can’t I be all the iterations of me and still be beautiful?

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Over the years... I’ve realized that my father’s sentiments echo those of the judge, the father, and the rapist. Image: Thinkstock.

The Stanford Rape Case, My Father, And Collective Forgiveness

Much has already been said about the way the Stanford swimmer's privilege has insulated him from consequence, about the ever-pervasive victim blaming in public discourse, and about the inadequacy of the criminal justice system. But in so many of these conversations, in our rage against the rape culture machine, we forget the survivors — the most important people in the fight against sexual violence.

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"I had to learn how to properly and safely detangle kinky-curly hair. I had to be patient in the process of discovering what my hair liked and needed — and what it didn't." Image: Thinkstock.

Having Very Curly Hair Is Challenging, But Not For The Reasons You'd Expect

I had to learn me because I was never given a chance to. People often act like this is easy or shouldn't be hard to grasp, but when you've literally spent your entire life not even knowing what your real hair feels like, it takes time to get used to that, especially when you have no one and nowhere to go to for solid advice.

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I take this journey of self-love and discovery one day at a time. Image: Thinkstock.

On Navigating My Attraction To Whiteness As A Black Woman

Honoring my feelings and being true to myself are just as important to me as being critical of the ways that a multiply-oppressive society manifests itself in the way I date, love, and desire.

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 There’s a certain irony to it, in my experience, since this means we are constantly bombarded with “how to get over” that ex, but aren’t really guided — by family, social circles and other institutions, or media — on how to deal with “getting over” a friendship.

Friend Breakups Can Hurt As Much As Romantic Breakups

In a culture focused on the importance and superiority of romantic attraction and relationships — a culture aromantics might call alloromantic-centric — platonic friendships (another form of relationship) are consistently undervalued.

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I just wasn’t getting signals that I was as safe as I needed to be. Image: Thinkstock.

My Therapist Fired Me — And I'm OK With It

My therapist of six months — let’s call her L — was letting me go. It was so subtle that I wasn’t even sure what was happening; I had to ask.

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I love you. Image: Llywelyn Nys/Unsplash.

On Activism: An Open Letter To My Peoples

And when you're multiply marginalized and know how much work there is to be done in the struggle for liberation, how few people are doing it, and that our lives literally depend on it, it can feel like you’re letting your people down.

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Brian Littrell is still one of the top boy band crushes of all time. Image Credit: Flickr/Joella Marano

I'm Almost 30, But My Celebrity Crushes Are Realer Than Ever

Does becoming an adult mean you have to give up "childish" things like paralyzing crushes on celebrities? Denarii Monroe thinks not.

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"We’re painfully aware of the fact that we’re “the only one” in the room, or one of very few. Don’t make it worse." Image: Author

3 Ways To Avoid Tokenizing People (Because I'm Sick Of It)

It’s like being a deer in the headlights. You’re in imminent danger. You know it. But you can’t move. You can’t speak. No reaction whatsoever. You just stand or sit there, frozen in time, waiting for the crash.

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I’ve found that adulting is all the more important when you’re in a shared living situation. Image: Thinkstock.

Why I Never, Ever Want A Roommate Again

I’ve never had any serious issues with past roommates, whether they’ve been friends, family, or someone I found on Craigslist or something. I consider myself really lucky in that way; I know there are horror stories out there. But, having lived with my mom for almost a year now, I’ve realized just how much of a burden it can really be.

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