Denarii Monroe

Bio

Denarii (rhymes with “canary”) is an aspiring screenwriter, freelance writer, and a weirdo. She's a Rutgers University alum and a two-year Pace University dropout; she studied English and Adolescent Education, respectively. She's written for BlogHer, Black Girl Dangerous, and Everyday Feminism. Follow her on Facebook, find her on Twitter and Instagram ([at]writersdelite). Mad selfies, pictures of her dog named Dog, raving about Matthew Gray Gubler, and ranting (or retweeting) about the writing process and racist, ableist, classist, fat-antagonistic heteropatriachary. She loves Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as well as soul food, red wine, cooking and baking, and the blues. Hanson is her favorite band ever (yes, that Hanson).

Denarii Monroe Articles

I’ve found that adulting is all the more important when you’re in a shared living situation. Image: Thinkstock.

Why I Never, Ever Want A Roommate Again

I’ve never had any serious issues with past roommates, whether they’ve been friends, family, or someone I found on Craigslist or something. I consider myself really lucky in that way; I know there are horror stories out there. But, having lived with my mom for almost a year now, I’ve realized just how much of a burden it can really be.

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I take this journey of self-love and discovery one day at a time. Image: Thinkstock.

On Navigating My Attraction To Whiteness As A Black Woman

Honoring my feelings and being true to myself are just as important to me as being critical of the ways that a multiply-oppressive society manifests itself in the way I date, love, and desire.

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Boundaries are key to healthy relationships (Image Credit: Thinkstock)

Struggling With Personal Boundaries? Check Out Our 'How To' Guide

You can create boundaries for many things. For example, your communication needs (what works for you, what others need to know, what you can’t tolerate, etc.), your limits in the bedroom, or even when your employer or employee is allowed to call or text you. They can be established for romantic, familial, platonic, and professional relationships.

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With almost a decade of various kinds of activism under my belt, I am more than familiar with the important work that Planned Parenthood does.

I Visited Planned Parenthood For The First Time At Age 29

It had never occurred to me to visit [a Planned Parenthood].... And yet, in a culture where the rights and healthcare needs of people assigned female at birth are constantly under attack, it’s easy, even for someone like me, to have warped ideas about exactly what one will experience.

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I just wasn’t getting signals that I was as safe as I needed to be. Image: Thinkstock.

My Therapist Fired Me — And I'm OK With It

My therapist of six months — let’s call her L — was letting me go. It was so subtle that I wasn’t even sure what was happening; I had to ask.

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"I spent quite a few of my preteen and early teen years enjoying taking pictures. But because of the combination of racism, fat antagonism, and lookism, I wasn’t always comfortable getting in front of the camera." Image: Thinkstock

The Right To Be Ugly: How Lookism Affects My Ability To Be Carefree

[W]hy must the acknowledgment of my beauty be predicated on how well and how often I contort to attempt to fit into some kind of ideal? Why can’t I be all the iterations of me and still be beautiful?

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It can be hard to understand how to support people in general, let alone those who seem to be struggling. Image: Thinkstock.

Tough Love: Not Always A Great Way To Help People Succeed

Some people will need more scaffolding to tackle their problems. Others, like some plants, are best left mostly alone and will eventually flourish on their own. You have to gauge a person’s needs and meet them where they are.

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Image Credit: Tanner Vines via Unsplash

I'm Not Giving Up On My Dreams, And Neither Should You

I did not leave that theater the same way I arrived. It was then, as I walked back to my building and looked up at the night sky, that I knew. I thought to myself, “I want to make movies.”

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 There’s a certain irony to it, in my experience, since this means we are constantly bombarded with “how to get over” that ex, but aren’t really guided — by family, social circles and other institutions, or media — on how to deal with “getting over” a friendship.

Friend Breakups Can Hurt As Much As Romantic Breakups

In a culture focused on the importance and superiority of romantic attraction and relationships — a culture aromantics might call alloromantic-centric — platonic friendships (another form of relationship) are consistently undervalued.

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"I had to learn how to properly and safely detangle kinky-curly hair. I had to be patient in the process of discovering what my hair liked and needed — and what it didn't." Image: Thinkstock.

Having Very Curly Hair Is Challenging, But Not For The Reasons You'd Expect

I had to learn me because I was never given a chance to. People often act like this is easy or shouldn't be hard to grasp, but when you've literally spent your entire life not even knowing what your real hair feels like, it takes time to get used to that, especially when you have no one and nowhere to go to for solid advice.

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