sex positivity

Saying Men Want More Sex & Women Want Less Shames Us All

Saying cis-men want more sex and women want less straight up shames us ALL.

By saying all people who identify as women want less sex and men want more, you’re grossly generalizing two large groups in a way that is both scientifically inaccurate and ultimately lidded under unreasonable social pressure.

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The Complicated Intersection Of Being Female, Sex Positive, And Monogamous AF

Sex positive does not mean I’m always available for sex.

It is a strange thing to find oneself at the tentative intersection of being female, sex positive, and in a long-term, monogamous relationship.

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I'm Not Ashamed Of My STI — And Now I'm Being Harassed Because Of It. #ShoutYourStatus

People (particularly women) who are unabashed in their sex positivity and who refuse to be ashamed of their bodies are seen as threats to the status quo. Image: Thinkstock.

I’ve been writing about stigmatized topics on the Internet for almost 10 years, so it’s never a surprise to me when I get pushback or face trolling or abuse for my opinions. I am a woman on the Internet, after all. Men love to tell me how stupid I am on a regular basis.

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I'm Not Ashamed Of My STI — And Now I'm Being Harassed Because Of It. #ShoutYourStatus

People (particularly women) who are unabashed in their sex positivity and who refuse to be ashamed of their bodies are seen as threats to the status quo. Image: Thinkstock.

I’ve been writing about stigmatized topics on the Internet for almost 10 years, so it’s never a surprise to me when I get pushback or face trolling or abuse for my opinions. I am a woman on the Internet, after all. Men love to tell me how stupid I am on a regular basis.

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7 Sex Tips For Uncoordinated People

Nobody orgasms when they feel uncomfortable. (Image: Thinkstock)

I have accumulated plenty of sex tips for fellow uncoordinated people. Embrace your quirks so everyone can get off! Here are seven of my absolute favorite, tried and true ways to keep sex fun and simple.

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The Girls Of Geordie Shore: Unlikely Paragons Of Sex Positivity

The reason I love and respect the women of the show is their openness and hilariousness about sex. Image: MTV UK.

Many criticize Geordie Shore as entertainment in its lowest form: fights, drinking, people falling over, nudity, swearing, and “bucking” (sexual intercourse). Yet, to me, it is so much more than that. As a fully qualified human woman, I can’t help myself analyzing the show through feminist-tinted glasses. The decisions and attitudes of the “family” represent, to me, a new kind of feminism.

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Stop Asking Your Partners How Many People They've Slept With

We shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of our pasts, just because they’re different from what we want in the present. Image: Thinkstock.

I’m not writing this in order to get defensive about my number of partners, by the way. I’ve had sex with around 25 people since the end of 2012 and I’m perfectly proud of and comfortable with that number. However, asking someone you’re dating about how many people they’ve slept with is a question meant to make them feel ashamed.

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How STI Stigma Perpetuates Slut-Shaming

Slut-shaming is how we explain the gendered double standard of sexual respectability: It’s women taking flak for the sex we have, while men are applauded for simply “doing what men do.” Image: Thinkstock.

Four years ago, I could be found most mornings at the same café with the same blue notebook and a mug of hot coffee. I was trying to write the story of how I got herpes.

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How STI Stigma Perpetuates Slut-Shaming

Slut-shaming is how we explain the gendered double standard of sexual respectability: It’s women taking flak for the sex we have, while men are applauded for simply “doing what men do.” Image: Thinkstock.

Four years ago, I could be found most mornings at the same café with the same blue notebook and a mug of hot coffee. I was trying to write the story of how I got herpes.

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4 Things I Learned From Dating A Professional Dominatrix

She was my Mr. Miyagi — except she was a cute young woman and there was a lot less karate.

In the spring of 2013, I met a woman on OKCupid. She was petite, with a kind smile and a voice so soft that it could melt all your troubles away. Her shock of red curls went down to her shoulders — and because of this, and the fact that we no longer speak, let's call her Ann.

Ann was a few years older than I, wise and mature. She also, it turned out, spent her professional life beating up strangers for their sexual satisfaction.

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