Matt Joseph Diaz

This week, Matt addresses everyone out there with a lady as their partner. Which is a lot of us, so listen up.

I am so very afraid.

Dear 16-Year-Old, 500 Pound Matt,

I've long considered myself a collector of failed relationships. From the girlfriend I asked out during a bar crawl and dated for eight days to the conservative Christian who thought her love was “saving me from a life of debauchery,” I actually gained a little pride from my list of failed love affairs. However, while these relationships were problematic, what made them “failures?”

CN: suicide

This week Matt talks about the new job he never expected to have, and how changing your career path isn't just perfectly normal — it shows how much you've grown as a person.

I know, it's Monday. BLECH. But, that also means it's time for #MondaysWithMatt.

Feeling unsafe and feeling uncomfortable aren't the same. Pushing yourself into uncomfortable places can help you grow.

[CN: surgery, bodily fluids] There are scars, blood drainage, swelling and bruising — it’s essentially going to look like makeup from The Walking Dead following the procedure. Not only that, but you’ll probably lack the necessary energy to groom yourself like you normally do, and you might not be allowed to shower for an extended period of time.

I'm 23 years old, I don’t want children, and every elder who discovers this feels compelled to tell me how wrong I am about my own feelings.