Alright ladies, as we prepare to take to the streets to protest the inauguration of a racist, sexist, xenophobic demagogue, it’s important to keep in mind that we need to LOOK GOOD doing it. Because we’re ladies. And how we look is always more important than the causes we fight for, the things we believe in, and especially the “blah-blah-blah” speech bubbles that come out of our mouths every now and then.
With that in mind, I’ve put together a simple makeup tutorial to help you put your best face forward at whatever protest, rally, or march you’re attending this weekend. It’s time to put the “chic” back in civil disobedience! Here’s how:
Start with a fresh face. Easier said than done, I know, since we’ve all aged 20 years in the past two months and are super haggard now, but at the very least, try to pass off a fear grimace as a glowing smile.
That works, I guess.
You can’t go wrong with a classic cat eye. Using a liquid eyeliner, draw a thin line from the middle of your eyelid outward, staying close to the lash line.
Oh. Damnit. My hand slipped. That’s OK, I can still fix it.
OK, on to the other eye.
Nice and steady... so far so good...
And voila! Oh wait, this side still needs a quick touch-up.
NOW it’s done.
Next up, eyebrows! Thick, bold brows are so important, you guys. We are currently in an era of strong brows and new American fascism. It’s an exciting time to be alive! Gigi Hadid is so gorgeous and we’re all going to die.
I like to use a thick crayon-type brow pencil to fill mine in. Make sure you really accentuate them with each stroke.
Like so. Now do the other side.
Now THAT’s a bold brow!
No makeup look is complete without a classic red lip, so grab your favorite matte red lipstick and follow along.
To start, lightly dab the color over your bottom lip.
Don’t forget to set your lipstick with a bit of translucent powder for staying power!
We’ll finish things off with a little blush, the brighter pink the better. (A healthy flush is a sign of fertility! Remember, this will be a form of currency in Paul Ryan’s mandated birth colony.)
Pile on the pink to make a statement. Contour with a black Sharpie.
And there you have it, a fabulous makeup look to celebrate Trump’s inauguration! Now go out there and fight.