Christine Schoenwald

Christine Schoenwald

Bio

Christine Schoenwald is a writer, comedian, spoken word diva, and cat lover. She has a degree in Theater Arts and pursued a career in comedy and improv at places like The Groundlings, ACME Comedy Theater, and Bang Comedy Studio before discovering her love for personal narrative/storytelling… well,  that and the fact that she never developed that tough skin that actors are supposed to have or the desire to go on auditions. Her writing has appeared in Salon, The Los Angeles Times, Purple Clover, Bustle, Role Reboot, XoJane, and she’s a regular contributor to Your Tango. She’s performed in storytelling/personal essay shows such as Bawdy Storytelling, The P.E.Z. Show, Tasty Words, Taboo Tales, and many others. Her story Stinkos was nominated for The Pushcart Prize. For more information, please visit Christineschoenwaldwriter.com.

Christine Schoenwald Articles

My Family Doesn't Celebrate Holidays, But I Do 

Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa are nearly here. So, what do you do when your family doesn’t celebrate any holidays whatsoever?

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I’m fat, but I have no fat friends.

I'm Fat And I Wish I Had Fat Friends 

I’m fat, but I have no fat friends. It’s not that all my friends are height-weight appropriate — it’s just that I can’t describe them as fat.

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A woman’s sexuality, especially a fat woman’s sexuality makes some people feel extremely uncomfortable, so they try to erase fat sexuality.

The Right To Be Sexual At Any Size ​

A woman’s sexuality, especially a fat woman’s sexuality makes some people feel extremely uncomfortable, so they try to erase fat sexuality.

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I'm Fat-Shaming My Cat And It Needs To Stop

The truth is, we want our cats fat and our women skinny.

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Fat camp would be a piece of cake — that I wouldn’t be allowed to eat.

I'm A Fat Camp Survivor ​

I’m a survivor — of fat camp. How terrible could a weight-loss camp be? Well, it was bad enough that I’m still dealing with its after-effects decades later.

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I still went to the painful place of being fat-shamed and decided that was why he had refused to kiss me.

Is It Because I'm Fat? How Internalized Shame Impacts Intimacy

I still went to the painful place of being fat-shamed and decided that was why he had refused to kiss me. The pain never fully went away.

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People with anxiety show a behavior know as over-generalization.

People With Anxiety See The World In An Entirely Different Way

Anxiety isn't something people choose to experience — it's connected with how their brains see the world.

A new study conducted by Offir Laufer, David Israeli and Rony Paz (of the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel) has found that individuals with anxiety see the world differently, and this difference is because of a variance in their brains.

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Ooh la la.

Pretty AND Horny: 10 Beauty Products That Double As Sex Stimulants

Whether you're a high-maintenance kind of woman or a low-maintenance one, chances are high that you use some kind of beauty product. It may be that a bar of soap, or a special shampoo or lipstick. Maybe you have shelves full of moisturizers, conditioners, makeup, and hair products.

Whatever you do, you do a little something, even if it's just to spray a scent on. You may prefer only the simplest of organic products to touch your body or may spend thousands of dollars getting only the finest name brands.

Then there's the question of getting a little something-something to make getting your sexy on even easier, especially if you're not comfortable going to a sex shop. To help you out, here are ten products that will make you feel sexier and intensify your arousal.

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Weighing someone with witnesses isn’t just an evasion of privacy; it’s embarrassing.

I Don't Want Witnesses When I'm Weighed

I know there are far worse injustices happening in the world, but getting weighed in front of people smacks of fat-shaming, and feels incredibly invasive.

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I imagine he was surprised that a woman of my size had kicked his ass in our (previously unbeknownst to me) competition.

I'm Done Trying To Be The Perfect Fat Person

Some of our happiest moments are those when we think that no one is watching: when we sing at the top of our lungs in our cars, or we dance down the frozen-food aisle of the supermarket allowing ourselves the freedom to let our inner child out. However, when you’re fat and the fat person’s representative, you don’t get any of those times of abandon because you’re always trying to lead by example and show that you’re the perfect fat person.

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