Jody Allard

Even if the government shuts down, it won't stop funding to Planned Parenthood; Medicaid and Medicare payments (which is how Planned Parenthood receives government funds) will continue on autopilot. It's a line in the sand that has absolutely no impact on the organization, yet would impact thousands of federal employees whose paychecks would stop coming. And is akin to a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Advertisers don't encourage us to believe that our kids need to make memories more than another toy to wage war on capitalism; they do it because these experience gifts support incredibly successful industries. When we shift our dollars from toys to travel, for instance, we are still supporting big business.

No one enters into marriage and becomes whole; there is no magical superpower that's granted alongside the marriage license. Marriage is simply two imperfect people who choose to come together in an imperfect union. That union can be remarkable and powerful, but it can also be dysfunctional and excruciating. Sometimes, it's even abusive.

Drug addicted, homeless, and hungry don't add up to hilarity. Neither does the system that arrested this woman for stealing $32 worth of food in a country that throws away 263 millions pounds of food every day –– or a news cycle that chews up and spits out the needy for clicks and likes.

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

It's easy and painless to poke our noses into the minutiae of other parents' decisions, but it in no way tackles the real epidemic of child abuse.

In case you need still more proof that feminism is desperately and unequivocally needed, here are three completely horrible stories from this week alone.

Billboard magazine proved that it's never too early to start sexualizing young girls when they tweeted a picture of two-year-old North West (daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West) sucking on a lollipop with the caption, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Ugh.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has become the first woman to be named Time magazine's "Person of the Year" in nearly 30 years. The magazine cited her unique values –– including humanity, generosity, and tolerance –– to explain why her leadership merited the award.

In news that makes you go hmmmm, rapper Drake told "W Art" that he want