Kate Ryan

You could take this easy, informative quiz to find out with whom you side on important legislative issues and social policies. Or you could go my route and pick your candidate based on what dinosaur they resemble.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

Okay, so maybe she didn’t really understand feminism.

LAX, on the other hand, seemed like a perfect place to pick up the latest deadly virus.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.