Kate Ryan

She couldn’t imagine the water she sat in, the water that enveloped her body, wanted to be here.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

The Gap come autumn: where normcore and film noir cleverly collide.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

A bloated mother in her polka dot one-piece gnaws on a corndog while reading the romantic pulp she picked up on her way out of the supermarket . . .

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

12:48 AM. Why would someone schedule an exorcism for the middle of a weeknight?

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.