Kate Ryan

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

She couldn’t imagine the water she sat in, the water that enveloped her body, wanted to be here.

Is flagging potentially offensive material taking the PC movement too far?

A bloated mother in her polka dot one-piece gnaws on a corndog while reading the romantic pulp she picked up on her way out of the supermarket . . .

For the record, I didn’t mean to be born so tall. I didn’t ask for bulky shoulders or a head that doesn’t fit most hats.

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.