Kate Ryan

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

Sheila applied widely and on a whim. She needed a job and she needed one fast.

You could take this easy, informative quiz to find out with whom you side on important legislative issues and social policies. Or you could go my route and pick your candidate based on what dinosaur they resemble.

Is flagging potentially offensive material taking the PC movement too far?

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."