Kate Ryan

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

Everyone wants to have the funny tweets because people equate them with wealth, power, and beauty. The problem is, we’re not all funny.

She closed in on the open pores enlarged ten times their normal size by a high magnification pocket mirror.

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

LAX, on the other hand, seemed like a perfect place to pick up the latest deadly virus.

Alma couldn’t understand why her Yelp reviews were so dismal. She didn’t advertise herself as a magician. She was a hair stylist.