Kate Ryan

LAX, on the other hand, seemed like a perfect place to pick up the latest deadly virus.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.