Kate Ryan

It was a tradition of theirs. When siblings Sue and Johnny went home to their mother’s for Christmas, they watched the 11 o’clock local news.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

She closed in on the open pores enlarged ten times their normal size by a high magnification pocket mirror.

You could take this easy, informative quiz to find out with whom you side on important legislative issues and social policies. Or you could go my route and pick your candidate based on what dinosaur they resemble.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.