Kate Ryan

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

Is flagging potentially offensive material taking the PC movement too far?

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

As an Uber driver, I have the privilege of talking to and eavesdropping on a sampling of L.A.’s finest, ranging from the clinically insane to the simply self-absorbed. As a writer, there is no end to the amount of inspiration my passengers provide.

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

Sheila applied widely and on a whim. She needed a job and she needed one fast.