Kate Ryan

Alison learned from her grandmother how a plastic smile could take you places—especially in a place like Hollywood.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

A bloated mother in her polka dot one-piece gnaws on a corndog while reading the romantic pulp she picked up on her way out of the supermarket . . .

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.