Kate Ryan

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

Sheila applied widely and on a whim. She needed a job and she needed one fast.

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.