Kate Ryan

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

Okay, so maybe she didn’t really understand feminism.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

Everywhere you look these days (on Instagram), beautiful pictures abound. From teacups overflowing with succulents to smoothie bowls arranged as art. All while a lavender-haired model casually eats ice cream in front of a stupidly gorgeous Tahitian sunset. All this endless beauty has become a bit dull.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.