Virgie Tovar

Virgie Tovar

Bio

Virgie Tovar, MA is an author, activist and one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the editor of Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, November 2012) and the mind behind #LoseHateNotWeight. She holds a Master's degree in Human Sexuality with a focus on the intersections of body size, race and gender. After teaching "Female Sexuality" at the University of California at Berkeley, where she completed a Bachelor's degree in Political Science in 2005, she went onto host "The Virgie Show" (CBS Radio) in San Francisco. She is certified as a sex educator and was voted Best Sex Writer by the Bay Area Guardian in 2008 for her first book. Virgie has been featured by the New York Times, MTV, Al Jazeera, the San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, Huffington Post, Bust Magazine, Jezebel, 7x7 Magazine, XOJane, and SF Weekly as well as on Women’s Entertainment Television and The Ricki Lake Show. Her most recent speaking engagements have included University of Washington, Earlham College, Hollins University, University of California at Berkeley, University of California at Davis, California College of the Arts, Sonoma State University, and Humboldt State University. She lives in San Francisco and offers workshops and lectures nationwide. Find her online at www.virgietovar.com. And on instagram. 

Virgie Tovar Articles

image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: 3 Common Fatphobic Derailments

Recently there’s been an uptick in fatphobic derailments, and I thought it would be helpful to share them as well my responses to them.

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Don't ever underestimate the power of the good ol' fashioned vent sesh. (Image Credit: Instagram/Virgie Tovar)

Take The Cake: The Power Of Venting

I know that not everyone has the same appetite for The Vent, but when it comes to doing work around diet culture and fatphobia, venting is a powerful tool. For people who are in the process of healing from diet culture, we are often wading through an enormous ocean of misinformation, gas lighting and dirty ol’ lies. Without access to venting, our emotions and thoughts occur in sort of a vacuum where we can easily talk ourselves out of what may well be very astute analysis.

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Vulnerability should be something we thoughtfully protect with boundaries. But never allowing anyone in harms our precious sense of humanity and our right to love.

Take The Cake: Vulnerability Is Haaaaaard

My sad little girl brain remembers exactly what it feels like to risk everything and get rejected. It happened so many times for me during childhood and then later in my early dating years. I’ve created elaborate systems of avoidance, emotional self-control and pre-emptive rejection. And frankly, girl, I’m tired of it. It’s a lot of goddamn work.

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Fighting for fat rights isn’t just about fighting for access to clothing or the demand to be seen as beautiful. Image: Virgie Tovar.

Take The Cake: Medical Fatphobia Almost Killed My Friend

We forego doctor visits because we know with near-total certitude that we are going to be told to lose weight. That we don’t need care — we just need to “cut back.”

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Take The Cake: Loving My Extended Adolescence (Or Something)

In the wake of America's "crisis of adulthood" and in the middle of a city known for Peter Pan Syndrome, I find myself feeling that I too have gotten an extension on my adolescence. It has become a time for me to heal, center myself in a way I never could in childhood, and figure out what I want for my life.

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I felt super cute in a dress that exposed every inch of my big, wobbly arms, and that felt like a total triumph. But it reminded me of the limitations of cuteness as a measure of freedom. Image: Virgie Tovar/Instagram.

Talking About My Activism In Front Of The Elders Who Made It Possible

A historian told me once to always be suspicious of anyone who used the word "progress" to describe the unfolding of events from past to present and from present to future. History is full of instances of change, she said, but it’s important to remember that change isn’t the same as progress.

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Trump supporters who are body positive? Seriously?

Take The Cake: Are Fat Positive Trump Supporters, Like, A Real Thing?

I am currently in Los Angeles trying to forget that the election happened.

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#PlusIsEqual. Or is it?

#PlusIsEqual But I'm Not Sure I Understand The Equation

I've gone into Lane Bryant about 68 times in my life, and each time I'm lucky to leave with a faux-snakeskin belt or wide-shaft boots in an on-trend style. Most of the clothing, however, is draping, muted, and made up of superfluous yards of fabric covered in condescending ruffles and flowers. Imagine a fat baby going to a funeral for her former fat self and you've got Lane Bryant's general look.

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Take The Cake: Do Thin Women Get This Many Texts About Penises? Part 1

Why do men text me about their dicks all the time? Do thin women get this many texts about penises?

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@virgietovar on IG: "Someone who was trying to woo me gave me this ginormous apple fritter today and I was like YES I HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN GOOD AT TELEPATHICALLY CONVEYING WHAT I EXPECT FROM MEN."

Take The Cake: Dating While Fat Shouldn’t Be This Weird 

I already feel super visible because I’m a fat woman wearing neon most likely, which I’ll admit I’m kinda into. But add a dude to the equation and all of a sudden I feel like people’s eyeballs are a moon orbiting the planet on which our initial fumbling exchanges are taking place. High pressure.

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