Dehydrated? (Probably): 6 Ways To Drink More Water!

image credit: Mariah Aro Sharp @mightymooseart

image credit: Mariah Aro Sharp @mightymooseart

A bipolar, body-positive bread enthusiast with a fucked-up pretty much healed ankle and a history of disordered eating chronicles health, weight-loss, and gardening. No diets allowed. 


There are a lot of things you will do for/to your body in your lifetime, the most important one will be drinking water.SO MUCH WATER.


I’m glad you asked.

Did you know that something like 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated?

That means there is a 25% chance you’re actually drinking enough water.

What does chronic dehydration look like?

I’m glad you asked.

Symptoms of chronic dehydration include:

  • Fatigue

  • Dry skin

  • Bad breath

  • Heart irregularities

  • Constipation

  • High blood pressure

  • High cholesterol

  • Acid-alkaline imbalance

  • Digestive disorders

  • Asthma and allergies

  • Weight gain

  • Skin disorders.

  • Joint pain or stiffness

  • Bladder or kidney problems

  • Premature aging

  • Being in a generally shitty mood

Sound great, right?


But how much water should I be drinking?

Well, basically forever people have said eight glasses of 8 ounces (which would be 64 ounces). This number persists because it’s easy to remember, but in truth, it’s probably not accurate.

More accurately, depending on weight, activity level, temperature, folks should be drinking anywhere from 1.5 to 3 liters.

Some suggest using your bodyweight as a guide — ½ your body weight (in pounds) in ounces, if you’ve active, up that number to ⅔.

Which for me would be 7 gallons a day.

Just kidding.

No matter how you pour it, that’s a lot of water.

It’s hard to drink that much (and even harder to find a bathroom), but you have to do it. This is really not an optional thing. To feel good, you need water.

Water has changed my whole life and I am not even kidding.

I don’t want you to die, I don’t want your family to die. I can’t cure cancer, but I can tell you how to get more water in your life.


1. Get a water bottle. Duh.

This is super obvious, but maybe NOT. I’ve had water bottles; now I have The Water Bottle. It is a Hydro Flask, and it has changed my life.

I am one of those weirdo people that never even LIKED water, and if I did drink it, it needed to be basically frozen. Enter Hydro Flask. This thing will keep water cold for a million years.

No kidding. Put ice in it, put it in your one thousand-degree car — you’ll still have ice TOMORROW.

2. Infuse that shit.

If you just REALLY hate the taste of water, put something in it. Cucumbers. Lemons. Oranges. Kiwi. Vodka. Whatever.

3. Drink other things!

Other beverages can count as water!

No, not margaritas. Sorry.

BUT, green tea does and it’s actually good for you! Drink four cups a day. Seriously. It will make you smart and it has antioxidants and it’s a great excuse to get a cute teapot.

4. Put a glass in your bathroom.

I know. Drinking water in the bathroom is gross. It’s also what we call a “feedback loop.” (I think.)

A diagram:

Look, here is the truth. When you drink water, your body turns that water into pee. When your bladder is full of pee, you (ideally) go to the bathroom.

SO, every time you go to the bathroom, you drink a glass of water.

Feedback loop.

5. Use an app!

There’s an app for that!

No, literally.

There are a lot of choices, and most of them are super boring. But not Plant Nanny! Drink water! Record it! Your plant grows.

GO ahead, don’t drink your water. Watch your plant DIE.

You can’t even keep a plant alive.

And finally...

6. Mark your bottle!

We made these just for you!

Want to follow my journey? Join in? Cheer me on? Cry with me?

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Drink your water, boos.


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