FBI Says Hillary Clinton Won't Face Charges For Emails

"Our judgment is that no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case."

Hey, guys! Remember a few months ago when I predicted that Hillary Clinton’s email troubles wouldn’t land her in prison? Well, I was totally right!

(I’m doing a little I-was-right dance right now.)

So, to recap, Hillary Clinton was once Secretary of State. During that time, instead of using a government email address, she had her own email set up using a server located in her home.

This turned out to be a Bad Idea and has sparked a months-long investigation into whether or not having such a server is illegal and whether or not the emails she sent using the server violated laws regarding the handling of classified documents.

Today, FBI director James Comey held a press conference where he said the FBI would not be bringing charges against the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee.  He stated,

Although we did not find clear evidence that Secretary Clinton or her colleagues intended to violate laws governing the handling of classified information, there is information that they were extremely careless in their handling of very sensitive, highly classified information… Although there is evidence of potential violations of the statutes regarding the handling of classified information, our judgment is that no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case.

Careless. Ok. So this was the FBI saying that no one broke any laws and no one in the State Department intended to break any laws. However, it might just be dumb luck that no hackers or spies or other bad guys were able to break into the system and get their hands on classified information.

Ya got that, Hillary? No more private servers. For realz.

So far there hasn’t been a response from the Clinton camp about the news. Donald Trump tweeted something with a lot of exclamation points. Something about a rigged system? I dunno. I can’t follow his logic.

In conclusion, the 2016 presidential contest will continue with one fewer element of weirdness looming over it. But don’t despair. I’m sure something equally weird will rear its ugly head soon.

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