These would be perf at the water park. (Image Credit: Instagram/brooksybradshaw)
For everyone who woke up and thought, “Today, I want to dress like the plastic covers on my grandmother’s good couch circa 1982," you are in luck!
Yes, fashion has finally found the answer for people who really want to wear a plastic rain cover like the kind you’d toss over a stroller. This is a bold new era of couture, my friends, and we are living it! LIVING IT, I SAY!
The retailer Topshop is the purveyor of this trendy new look. They started by pioneering the “Clear Knee Mom-Jeans," a style that left literally everyone on earth wondering what the hell that was about. They’re basically just cropped jeans with clear plastic panels over the knees.
I don’t know what any of that has to do with being a mom. I’m a mom and I have never once wished for jeans that revealed my knee, but with a barrier between them and the real world. Like a display case for knees. That are also jeans.
But Topshop wasn’t daunted by fashion philistines like me, and they upped their jeans + plastic game to present TOTALLY CLEAR PLASTIC JEANS!
Because bikini waxing for bathing suit season isn’t extreme enough, I guess.
The MOTO Clear Plastic Straight Leg Jeans look exactly like the kind of clear plastic zipper bag a new comforter for your bed would come in, only pants.
There is no lining, no fabric over your most tender bits, just clear plastic. Should the humidity rise and the wearer start to sweat, the sweat would be clearly visible dripping down the inside of the pants. If the wearer were to go into an air conditioned room, the pants might develop a film of condensation familiar to glasses-wearers who move from one temperature to another.
Also, you can see through the pants, necessitating wearing another pair of pants under the plastic pants.
The bizzaro pants retail for $100, which is a lot of money for pants that don’t perform the most basic duty of pants, which is covering your ass. I shan't be wearing them but we will be more than happy to retweet pictures of you wearing them if you go that fashion direction! Hit us up at @ravishlydotcom with your best plastic pants adventures!