Children

Still trying to heal from a difficult childhood and toxic parenting... Image: tranmautritam/Unsplash.

Why I Don't Find Sh*tty Mom Funny

[CN: Toxic parents] I am a big fan of inappropriate humor (especially when said humor is tinged with sarcasm), and I’m an even bigger fan of using comedy to deal with life’s ugliness. But when the humor is at the expense of someone unknowing and innocent, like a child, I no longer consider it funny.

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When Branden came along, we decided not to baptize him; I just didn’t believe our sweet baby was born in sin. Image: Juan Carlos Leva/PEXELS.

Religion vs. Motherhood: Why I Doubt My Choices

I am still a very spiritual person, but don’t necessarily agree with a lot of the things I was taught growing up — or the way it was shoved down our throats. So when Branden came along, we decided not to baptize him, because I just didn’t believe our sweet baby was born in sin. My husband wasn’t religious, and this was the right choice for us.

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I'll pass on the Pledge, thanks.

I Don't Say The Pledge Of Allegiance And I Want My Kids To Stop

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

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I’m Becky, and I didn’t even know it. Leave it to the woman I model my hustle after to put my asshole behavior right in my face. Image: Parkwood Entertainment/screenshot.

I'm Becky With The Good Hair: That Time Beyoncé Called Me Out

In my mind, I was Beyoncé, and she was Becky. She was the one he needed to run back to. She was the one who could have his ass, because I was leaving and I wasn’t sorry about it.
Then Lemonade came out and the light bulb came on.

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I lost count of the number of times Mom and Joe tried to file for divorce. Image: Thinkstock.

My Parents Never Got Divorced — But I Wish They Had

Although divorce would’ve been the right thing for Mom and Joe, they still used it as a weapon against each other. I was often caught up in the crossfire. Sometimes, I worry that Ryan is going to come home from work, drop his bag at the door, and drop an “I want a divorce” bomb on me.

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Too often parents try to keep their skeletons locked away in basement closets. Image: Thinkstock.

I'm An Alcoholic And Drug Addict, And I'm Not Going To Hide It From My Kids

[CN: alcoholism, drug addiction, mention of rape] I want them to know that alcoholism and drug addiction is a disease that they are predisposed to. That it can seriously mess up your life and turn you into a person you don’t want to be. I want them to understand that I am one of the lucky ones to make it out alive, who didn’t have to suffer any major repercussions...

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It didn't occur to me that once our son was old enough to actually form opinions for himself, we might not have much in common anymore. Image: Thinkstock.

I'm Very Different From My Husband And Son — And That's OK

When I brought my son into the world, I thought that he would be an awful lot like me. He had to be, right? He grew inside me; I nourished him; I was the one home with him day in and day out during those very impressionable years, while my husband worked a grueling military schedule — yet there are few similarities to be found.

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There is no one activity undertaken every single day that will guarantee a healthy, non-annoying, responsible child. Image: Thinkstock.

7000 Days Of Parenting Is 'All' You Have — But Everything's Going To Be Fine, I Promise.

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.

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