Depression

I have never judged Kimberly for her decision. After all, I too have found myself at a point where I was not immune to such thoughts. I may not have delved into the same level of heaviness she did, but I have brushed up against it. I

I used to be the one that pushed everyone away out of fear that I was too demanding or too toxic or “too much.” But I’m finally at a place in my life where I understand just how important it is to lean on your support system — and so I’m committed to not running away anymore.

Many people are aware of bipolar disorder. Most know it’s a mental illness that swings the brain between depression and mania. Most understand depression to be debilitating, a condition that combines sadness, despair, exhaustion, and lack of motivation. But most people don’t understand mania (which is experienced primarily by people with bipolar I) or hypomania (which those with bipolar II tend to encounter more than full-blown mania) — at least not fully.

I went to my first therapist when I was a teenager. My family was dysfunctional to the point of being non-functional. If a decision needed to be made about custody arrangements, my parents were incapable of making it without me. Instead, I was the mediator (and had been since I was a young child), speaking first to my father on the phone and then relaying the message to my mother.

Known on the Internet for her Marrying George Clooney blog (and book by the same name), Ferris is constantly engaged with a slew of followers and friends on her Facebook page. They religiously check in to see her daily thoughts on life, love, politics, and more.

I'm calmer, more level-headed, and more responsive (not reactive). I'm able to make it through the day without every comment, incident or event causing me to spiral out of control. Oh, and I'm not crying, at least not every minute of everyday, because antidepressants allow me think clearer, feel better, and be better. Antidepressants make me a better mom.

No two losses are the same.

I never wanted children. When other little girls were playing with dolls, I played with stuffed animals. Even when I played house, my home was filled with plush puppies.