Depression

Breastfeeding brought me back. It kept me in my body, forced me to hold my son’s body, and helped me stay connected to the physical reality of everything. What I remember are flashes of joy in the darkness, his tiny hands clenched in determined fists. His feet curled against my soft stomach. The release of the milk starting to flow. My arms wrapped up around him.

Zoloft's long been known as the safest antidepressant to take during pregnancy. Most psychiatrists consider that if the patient needs drugs, Zoloft should be the first line of attack. And yet, some risks exist — some risks always exist.

All I want for Christmas is a Molly Weasley sweater.

...But not in the way you'd think.

We all have a Bunker in our lives, and I'm so grateful to Julie for telling us about hers.

When I left the hospital the night that he was admitted, I sat in the parking lot gasping with big ugly sobs and looking for someone to blame — beginning with myself. I'm his mother, and I'm the only consistent parent he's ever had. As I finally made my way home, with tears streaming down my face and my mouth open in a silent scream of pain, all I could ask myself was "what have I done?" How could I have allowed my son to be hurt so deeply, and in so many ways?

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

Although my underlying disease has no treatment, many of the symptoms of my disease can be treated, and even a small reduction in my symptoms can be life-changing for me. Yet, unless I really push my doctors for a treatment plan, they rarely offer any suggestions. I understand that there is no pill to cure me, and I don't feel bad when my doctor doesn't have one to offer.