donald trump

There were two stories that emerged from last night’s Republican debate: 1. The matchup between Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, arguing over immigration policy and foreign policy (Cruz: no amnesty, build a wall, bomb ISIS while somehow not harming innocents. Rubio: eventual legalization of illegal immigrants, strengthen borders, work with Arab partners to defeat ISIS, more troops).

Real life doesn't stand still, so why should your news? Calling this news is probably a stretch, but in any event, this is what the last week would look like were it a series of photos hung up around Hogwarts

Last night, the saga continued. Fox Business Network hosted the fourth Republican Primary debate, with a slightly winnowed set of contenders: the top eight candidates were on stage, compared with ten in the previous showdown.

Most Likely To Succeed: Carly Fiorina. One word: Yowza! On top of being the only candidate to move up from Fox’s conciliation debate to CNN’s main stage, Carly Fiorina kicked absolute butt. She went after Donald Trump, Chris Christie, every prominent Democrat, not to mention political pandering to women. Pundits agree: Fiorina won it.

You could take this easy, informative quiz to find out with whom you side on important legislative issues and social policies. Or you could go my route and pick your candidate based on what dinosaur they resemble.

On Thursday night, 17 Republicans sparred in two debates for a record-breaking audience of 24 million, and 15 months before voting day.

OK. Full disclosure. I don’t watch Fox News. I’m an MSNBC kind of girl. Chris Hayes, Rachel Maddow, and Melissa Harris-Perry are my peeps. But I do know who Megyn Kelly is, albeit from clips of Jon Stewart (what are we going to do without him?) where he highlighted some of her more puzzling statements like “Jesus was white.”

Yes, it may still be 2015, but due to political and societal realities, presidential elections start early — like, stupidly early. Here’s the rundown on what to look for in your future POTUS.